Gina Gershon (46)
Shane West (30)
Leelee Sobieski (25)
Tara Lipinski (26)
Hoku (27)
Faith Evans (35)
Elizabeth Hurley (43)
Jeanne Tripplehorn (45)
Tony Ward (45)
Vincent Perez (46)
Kim Deal (47)
Maxi Priest (48)

Mimi La Rue is not happy about the fact that she has to share her room with Tori Spelling’s new spawn which popped out of her via C-section today. OK! Magazine reports that Tori’s daughter arrived into this cruel world at 3:13pm today. She weighed in at. 6 lbs 8 oz.

Tori and Dean have named her Stella Doreen McDermott. Steeeeeeeeeeeelllaaaaaa! They gave her the middle name of Doreen after Dean’s late mommy. And what about Tori’s mother?! They really should have named their daughter Candy Doreen if they knew what was good for them. Seriously, Tori is basically asking to be disinherited by her mother. Candy Doreen would’ve been the hottest name. Sounds like a gum-chewing, bitch-talking, bouffant-wearing diner waitress. Sigh.

A spokesbitch (Mimi) for Tori said, “She’s here! She’s a healthy baby girl. Tori and baby are resting comfortably.”

“Resting comfortably” is Hollywood talk for “mommy’s getting lipo and baby’s getting a chemical peel.”

In case you give a possum’s chode, Diddy wants to be called Puff Daddy again. On one of O’Neal McKnight’s tracks, Diddy raps, “They call me Puff Daddy…he’s back. Yeah, you heard me right—I said Puff Daddy. I’m about to back on that Puff Daddy shit.” He’s seriously getting too old for that shit.

He also wrote on one of his MySpace blogs, “This is your boy Puff Daddy!!! Yes Puff Daddy.” He’s since changed it.

How about we just call him Puffy McCunt? It’s classic and has a nice ring to it.

Source: E! News

Xtina is in love with her enormous, veiny E-cup chichis and thinks breastfeeding has a lot to do with their current condition. A source told Star Magazine (via Pop Crunch) that she wants to breastfeed baby Max until he turns 2. Why put Max through the horror of having to stick his face in those things? She should just pop another implant in and call it a day.

A source said, “Christina knows lots of women breastfeed until their kids are two years old-she even heard that Demi Moore did it.” Seriously, I think Rumer is still breastfeeding.

I’m sure Max just loves the taste of vodka-silicone-leche. Speaking of vodka, a source claims Xtina’s vodka-filled partying is fucking up her marriage to Bat Boy. The source said, “Jordan’s sick to death of her partying. It’s causing a huge strain on their marriage. He’s at his wits’ end and he doesn’t know what to do.”

Hmmm….he should hide all her red lipsticks. There’s no that way bitch would ever leave the house without at least 10 layers of red paint on her lips.

Rumors have been going around the internets that Eva LongWHORIA is carrying a living thing in her body. We call it a baby, she calls it a money maker! If she was pregnant, you know she called her manager the minute she found out to start working on deals immediately. She’s trying to get her first ultrasound photos on the cover of People magazine. She’s probably negotiating the sale of her placenta to some crazy Russian billionaire.

Eva kept the rumors going while shopping with her husband and Robert Verdi in NYC today. Loose fitting dress? CHECK! Hand on bump? CHECK! Annoying gay in two? CHECK! The last one has nothing to do with her possibly being knocked up, but I just had to comment on Robert Verdi. Are those sunglasses permanently super glued to his fucking bald head?

Supermodel and superbitch Naomi Campbell said that she’s ready to have a baby after having some sort of operation. Naomi wouldn’t say what the operation was or what was it for. She recently had a cyst removed in Brazil, but I don’t know if it has anything to do with that.

She probably had an ovary transplant. Her original ones jumped ship because they didn’t want any part of that fuckery.

Naomi said, “Now I can have a child I would like one. I’m even willing to have one without a father. I know that I am ready. I know that with a baby I would change, I’d calm down. With a child you cannot accept compromises. You have to give your full self.”

And you thought MiserAlba was a grouchy pregnant lady? Imagine Naomi Campbell! I pity the man that chooses to have a baby with her crazy ass! Any man that is willing to deal with a knocked up Naomi is an idiot with a death wish.

If she does have a kid, we’ll have to put our pennies together and send baby a little bullet proof vest and a helmet as a “welcome to the world and good luck” gift!

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