This is the second time in two weeks that Shauna Sand has been photographed without wearing her exquisite lucite heels. How is she able to stand without her lucite beauties? You would think her feet would reject anything that wasn’t made out of the finest stripper crystal aka lucite.

Those black things on her feet are trash! They belong on commoners like Posh Spice or Kim Kardashian. Shauna only deserves the best.

Even worse, Shauna wore them to the Chanel store yesterday. Double betrayal! Did Shauna not get the memo that we’re boycotting Chanel for what they did to Phoebe Price? I can forgive Shauna for her Chanel mishap as long she puts her exquisite lucite heels back on and never takes them off again!

Here’s Shauna, Frenchie husband and her two daughters yesterday.

MiserAlba is smiling! Hell, we would all be smiling too if we were laying in the pool, pissing and farting as we pleased. Pregnant hos can piss and fart on themselves without judgment.

Speaking of pissing in the pool, when I was a little kid, my friend’s pool had water jets in it. Pissing in the jets was one of the greatest things ever. Unfortunately, his dumb bitch of a mom found out that I was giving golden showers to the jets. She told me that they put this special liquid in the pool that would turn my piss bright red, so I shouldn’t even think about doing it anymore. That shit scarred me for life!

To this day, I can’t even piss in my own bath tub (don’t judge) without thinking the water will turn red. Damn her! Okay, that pool story really happened last weekend.

Here’s more of MiserAlba pissing in the pool.

Is Mercury in Your Anus or some shit? I’m not into that astrology mess, but you know what I mean! May has not been a good month for our beloved greats.

Kelsey Grammar had a heart attack! Thankfully, he’s fine. Star Magazine has confirmed that Kelsey had a minor heart attack on the beach in Kona, Hawaii on Saturday.

No, Camille wasn’t riding his pony when it happened. Kelsey was out swimming in the ocean. A source said, “Kelsey’s heart stopped for a few seconds, that’s for sure.” Don’t ask me how the source knows this. They probably have bionic hands. He was quickly sent to a local hospital and then airlifted to a hospital in Honolulu. His rep said that he’s going home tomorrow.

You know that when Camille got the call, she’s like, “Um…I’ll be right there. I just have to call the lawyers…I mean…the kids.” Sarah Larson needs to take a cold hard stare at Camille Grammar. That could’ve been her!

Ceiling Eyes really wants you to see her panties – Hollywood Tuna

All the skeezers at the MTV Movie Awards – Egotastic!

Prince and Radiohead need to hug it out – IDLYITW

Brit Brit isn’t designing furniture anytime soon. Shit! I really wanted a built-in cheeto bag holder in my next couch – Popsugar

The prettiest princess at the MTV Movie Awards and I’m not talking about Vanessa – Just Jared

Mimizilla continues her attack on Japan – A Socialite’s Life

Shia LaDouche went to AA as a child. Who didn’t? – Hollywood Rag

The Russian army kick it old school – Cityrag

Kendra Wilkinson’s got panties on her head (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Clint Eastwood hates botox – Lainey Gossip

Kurt Cobain’s ashes have been stolen! Well, that’s what The News of the World claims anyway. Take it with a grain of ash. Courtney Love keeps his ashes in a pink teddy bear bag along with a lock of his hair. Court found that shit was gone a couple of weeks ago and now she’s freaking out. Freaking out more than usual I should say.

She said, “I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me. I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal. If I don’t get them back I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Round up the obvious suspects – Courtney’s nose, Courtney’s veins, all pink teddy bear kidnappers in the area and Keith Richards.

I’m pretty sure that I’m the only living thing on this planet that actually likes Robot Call Girl. And now I love her just a little bit more. Last night on “Denise Richards: I’m Constipated,” Denise cursed out some reporter. She didn’t use your normal everyday curse word either, she called her a cunt. She said it several times. Much thanks to the hot bitch that programmed that word into Denise’s main vocabulary.

The word cunt isn’t used enough. It needs more love! How would you feel if you were the word cunt? Nobody uses you! They use bitch, whore, slut, skank, but never cunt! So the next time you need to call someone a “bitch,” use cunt instead. You’ll probably get shot or stabbed for it, but at least you tried something new!