When I get together with my friends, we usually do each other’s nails, drink Bartles & Jaymes and make friendship bracelets. Straight douchetards like Shia LaBeouf do things a little differently. They get hammered on Bud, call each other “faggot” and dare their “dawg” to bitch slap them.

Shia using the word “faggot” doesn’t bother me as much as that puny bitch slap. Alexis Carrington could deliver a better slap. If you get the opportunity to slap a douche, make it count.

VIA ONTD

Michael Madsen was sent to a hospital in London after freaking out at the Dorchester Hotel. Hotel staff called the police after they heard screaming coming from his room. Michael was restrained and then taken to the hospital by ambulance. Doctors treated him for cuts and bruises before releasing his crazy ass back into the wild.

Michael checked into the hotel on Saturday with his wife and 5-year-old daughter. Witnesses told The Sun that he was totally out of it. Then on Sunday, hotel guests heard Michael and a woman fighting in their room. A source said, “A guest complained that all hell was breaking lose. There was a lot of screaming and shouting and staff called the police. He had a furious row with his woman companion and it was feared they might hurt each other. An ambulance was called because of concerns for his mental health.”

A spokesbitch for Michael had no comment.

This is exactly why you don’t take meth before your S&M sessions. Michael probably just forgot the “safe word” and his wife kept going. Michael, choose a safe word you can remember! Not anything complicated.

Thanks Romeo

HoHan and SamRo hugging out it in the open….in the daylight! This means…um….this means….it means nothing really, but I like seeing these two gayelles touching. You know they both have clit boners. HoHan is totally whispering to SamRo, “I’m wearing flannel panties.”

I used to think that SamRo had a face only a firecrotch gayelle could love, but now I’m starting fall for her. We can bump donuts anytime.

Here’s HoHan and SamRo on the set of “Labor Pains” yesterday.

The glamour twin trolls known as MK and Ashley Olsen are turning 22 this Friday and Peta wants your help in creating the perfect Birfday gift. Peta has asked sluts to send the Olsens a piece of their hair with the note, “Please, use my hair instead of the animals’. Happy birthday.” Sucio! Wait, does pubic hair count? I can’t promise that there won’t be a dead crab on it, but that’s their problem!

Peta, who has devoted an entire website to “The Trollsens” said, “Mary-Kate and Ashley are old enough now to know that fur doesn’t grow on trees. We hope that on their birthday, they will take a moment to think about the many animals who won’t live to see another birthday thanks to the twins’ abominable taste in clothes.”

Methinks that on their Birfday they are going to eat a couple of cows, skin a few rabbits, stuff a few raccoons and whip a few kittens. They will do all of this while laughing at Peta.

Seriously, those Olsen bitches will probably take your hair, make a wrap out of it and wear it over their chinchilla fur. I’m going to send those greasy ass trolls some soap and shampoo instead!

Source

27 dresses…were used to cover this bitch. – HairyPotHeadFan

Runners-up:

Louise’s attempt to photoshop herself into the wedding party fails tragically – Kacky

Always a fucking gigantic bridesmaid, never a fucking gigantic bride. – boubakiki

Thanks Alice

Damone Roberts – The Eyebrow King! He’s also the make-up artist on TLC’s “10 Years Younger”

For Renee and Joanna