Page Six is reporting that Amber Heard went on a “romantic date” with Sean Penn. This would be the second alleged wife-beater for Amber. There’s a lot to unpack there, but let’s leave that to the therapists. Instead, let’s focus on her losing a JILLIONAIRE with A SPACESHIP? You could have been the Queen of Mars, and now you’re on a date with a surly Slim Jim? Continue reading
J.K. Rowling came under fire for her involvement in casting Johnny Depp in the next installment of the Harry Potter cash printing machine Fantastic Beasts. Last night Michael posted about her inevitable response. In it she vaguely alludes to the public statement that was jointly released by Johnny and ex-wife Amber Heard after their split.
In light of what’s been going on in Hollywood lately, the upcoming Harry Potter movie Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald sounds a lot more sinister when you accidentally type Fantastic Breasts. Maybe that’s why Entertainment Weekly asked Fantastic Beasts director David Yates about the decision to keep Johnny Depp on in a featured role (he plays the titular Grindelwald) in the upcoming sequel to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (yup, that also sounds icky if you add the errant “R“) despite allegations of physical and emotional abuse leveled against him by ex-wife Amber Heard. EW wanted to know why Johnny got a pass.
It’s been a minute since Johnny Depp’s messy money troubles with his former management company, and the situation has gotten messier. Johnny is now suing his former lawyers. But wait, it gets better: He’s accusing them of conspiring against him with his former management company with an evil plot to rob him blind.
Johnny Depp is broker than a motherfucker. So broke in fact, as we know too well, that he’s suing his former business managers for $25 million dollars. His suit claims that the firm, TMG, never warned him that he needed “slow his roll,” that they loaned $10 million dollars to third parties without his knowledge, failed to pay his taxes for him, made him sell his house in France, didn’t get him the pony he asked for last Christmas, and for generally being big stinky meanie heads.
Johnny Depp must have received a very frantic call from his manager (or the marketing team at Disney who would like very much to get another decent box office weekend out of Pirates of the Caribbean 5) urging him to use his damp swamp bog mouth to say he’s sorry. Or maybe he didn’t like the thought of an unmarked van full of Secret Service trailing behind him on his next scarf run. Whatever the reason, Johnny has issued an apology for joking about assassinating Trump at the Glastonbury Festival yesterday.
“I apologize for the bad joke I attempted last night in poor taste about President Trump. It did not come out as intended, and I intended no malice. I was only trying to amuse, not to harm anyone.”
The last time Johnny issued a public apology for something, he later made fun of his apology. If he does that this time, I doubt he’ll be so obvious about it. Like, maybe he’ll bring up those recently rediscovered pictures of Trump playing tennis in some extremely unflattering white shorts. “You know, the next time I want to make a joke at Trump’s expense, I should take notes from those shorts. Because they are extremely amusing.”