It’s been four months since we’ve talked about Jennifer Lawrence and her current boyfriend, director Darren Aronofsky. Four months without an update is enough time in which some famous people could split up, hook up with someone new, get married, and file for divorce. But apparently that’s not what has happened here. They might have been laying low over the past few months, but they’re still together.
Jennifer Lawrence is out there pimping another movie, so you know what that means? It’s time for another round of Jennifer Lawrence ass burping up quirky tales of her puking and pissing antics. JLaw telling piss stories while promoting Passengers is actually pretty fitting, because according to early reviews, that shit should be flushed and forgotten.
Fresh off from telling the offensive story about how her ass destroyed sacred rocks in Hawaii, JLaw was on The Late Late Show with James Corden on Tuesday night, and while sitting next to alleged Uber driver slapper T.J. Miller, she told an OMGSORELATABLEOMG that’s only relatable to dogs, Bear Grylls and uncouth babies. JLaw’s friends should maybe get her a Fisher-Price Fun To Learn Potty for Christmas, because it seems like she’s pissing everywhere except a toilet (see: Jennifer Lawrence Pisses In Sinks and this post).
Jennifer Lawrence told a hilarious – to her at least – story on The Graham Norton Show last Friday about how she almost killed a sound guy in Hawaii during the filming of The Hunger Games after she accidentally sent a rock tumbling down a mountain. The rock came loose after she dislodged it by scratching her itchy ass on it (as seen above). When the rock rolled down the mountain, Jennifer claimed that Hawaiian people responded in horror, as if they were watching a kahuna’s curse in action. JLaw laughed and made a joke about her ass being the curse.
Shortly after her appearance on Graham Norton, she discovered that her story didn’t make everyone wipe tears from their eyes from laughing so hard at her quirkiness. Some people took to Twitter to slap at Jennifer for thinking it was funny to disrespect a special part of Hawaiian culture and accuse her of casual racism. The video of JLaw’s story has since been yanked from The Graham Norton Show’s YouTube channel. And today Jennifer apologized on Facebook to everyone who was offended by her butt scratching joke.
Chris Pratt can let out the giant sigh of relief he’s been holding in for the past couple weeks. He no longer has to worry about being the public relations disaster of the Passengers press tour.
Here are some pictures of Jennifer Lawrence leaving her apartment in New York on Wednesday. I’m happy to see someone finally managed to get a brush through those hair extensions.
I’ve heard of silent but deadly, but this is a first for me. Jennifer Lawrence loves farts, but she didn’t almost take down a man with a deadly fart. That’s not to say the near-death situation wasn’t peak-Jennifer Lawrence, of course.
Jennifer was promoting Passengers with her co-star Chris Pratt on The Graham Norton Show on Friday and she told a story about the time her ass almost committed involuntary manslaughter. During the filming of The Hunger Games in Hawaii, Jennifer was in a wet suit and shooting a scene on sacred rocks. Her ass got itchy from the neoprene, so she scratched it against the rocks. This was a no-no, because according to JLaw, it’s disrespectful to rub your toot-toot against sacred rocks.
The Hawaiian island god living in the sacred rocks clearly had enough of JLaw rubbing her ass all over it. One of the rocks came loose and pulled a Raiders of the Lost Ark by rolling down a mountain towards a sound guy. This marks the first time in history that Jennifer Lawrence was beaten to an awkward fall by something else.
Thankfully, the sound guy wasn’t killed. The people of Hawaii, however, weren’t as relieved. As JLaw says, some saw the rock as a sign of a curse. Meanwhile, I’m sure there was at least one Hawaiian who saw the rock as a blessing. A genuine Hunger Games prop that was rubbed repeatedly by Jennifer Lawrence’s ass? I bet they got at least $1000 for that rock on eBay.
Jennifer Lawrence hasn’t come straight out and confirmed how official she is with Darren Aronofsky. Instead, JLaw let her publicist do the talking with some “spontaneous” street-kissing pap shots earlier this month. Jennifer promoted her upcoming film Relatable Hotties in Space (aka Passengers) in the holiday issue of Vanity Fair, and the topic of Darren Aronofsky came up. Jennifer’s inner kewl girl probably really wanted to crack a joke about his head not being his only place without hair (wink), or that she loves just chilling out on the couch with an entire stuffed-crust pizza and watching Requiem for a Dream with him. But privacy-loving Jennifer decided to keep it extremely vague and non-committal. She doesn’t say a whole lot.
It’s been a little over two weeks since The Sun said that Jennifer Lawrence’s 26-year-old chocha has been regularly dropping on director Darren Aronofsky’s 47-year-old peen. They started doing it after working together on his movie Mother over the summer. JLaw mostly lives in L.A., but she’s been going to NYC more and more, because that’s where Darren lives to be closer to the kid he made with Rachel Weisz. People later confirmed that they’re a thing and their source said that she likes him because “he’s low-key” and isn’t into that celebrity life. JLaw has been in NYC, where Darren lives, and last night, they went for a “low-key” stroll and The Daily Mail posted the pictures of them touching mouths.