What do hetero chicks do when they want to keep Night At The Roxbury-type dude bros off their asses and terrible music from ruining their Friday night out? They party with the gays, obviously. A self-proclaimed “stay at home mom” going out drinking with her recently engaged friend at a NYC gay dive bar should be no big deal, except when the mom is the second “greatest singer in da world” Adele and her friend is America’s farting and falling sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence.
It wasn’t that long ago that Jennifer Lawrence was banging beige elevator music guitar hero Chris Martin before moving onto Darren Aronofsky (which I always saw as a bizarre setup, but the old timer seems to have no shortage of company of beautiful ladies, whether they deny it or not. That director dick must be good when he calls it to “Action“). Now America’s favorite farting/falling (farting while falling? I’ve heard that’s a thing) Sweetheart has taken the final step before locking her lady bits to one person forever by getting engaged to Cooke Maroney, an art dude from Gladstone Gallery, and she has a fat old rock on her lock down finger that proves it.
Remember Jennifer Lawrence? It feels like it’s been centuries since we’ve all screamed, “That JLaw, she’s so relatable!”, over the multi-multi-millionaire famous actress showing that she’s one of us by busting out a total natural fall at the Oscars (which we’ve all done, of course) and accidentally super queefing her tampon onto the floor during an important business meeting with Oprah and Steven Spielberg (that didn’t happen, but I’m sure it happened). JLaw is in Dark Phoenix, which comes out this summer, and that Theranos biopic starring her is still in the works, but she’s mostly been taking time off and spending it pulling some post-sex dutch oven action (you know she does) on her boyfriend of about 8 months Cooke Maroney. And now Cooke Maroney is her fiancé.
I always need an internal Hazmat Cleanup when I see or hear the words Harvey Weinstein, and the above effigy created by Edenbridge Bonfire Society that was burned moments later, barely takes the edge off of the disgust his name and image invoke. He has become synonymous with that festering pile of abandoned trash floating on a barge in New York Harbor. This latest Harvey garbage isn’t any less biohazard producing than any other, and it has an extra layer of grossness to it. Apparently Harvey dragged Jennifer Lawrence into his bad acts, claiming that he had sex with her, while in the act of attempting to rape a woman who has now filed a lawsuit against him. Continue reading
I must admit, I was one of those suckers who watched True Blood to the bitter, fairy dusted, laughably accented end. It wasn’t perfect, ok, it wasn’t “good”, but it filled my eyes with many sexy butts plus Lafayette (RIP Nelsan), so I’ll never regret the time I spent in Bon Temps. Turns out, it could have been a lot worse! TB creator Alan Ball spoke about the show on the occasion of its 10th anniversary and revealed that Vampire Beehl was almost played by an alien. Sadly/thankfully, the world was robbed of its opportunity to see Benedict Cumberbatch’s cumberbiscuits when the role of Bill Compton went to Stephen Moyer instead.
Justin Theroux and Emma Stone are two people who are not dating (just friends!), but they just can’t stop throwing out the signals of people who are dating each other. They’ve been seen repeatedly together, and they recently spent time in France at the same places and beaches. If you’re keeping track at home, it’s time to whip out a marker and make yet another note for the “Ok but they’re totally dating” column. And the latest evidence comes by way of Jennifer Lawrence.