Michael Phelps Loves To Get Pissed On While Wearing Lady Panties, So Says A Craigslist Dominatrix

This is the world we live in now. A trick can’t happily get pissed on while wearing lady chonies without worrying about the pisser spilling his fetishes to The National Enquirer for a quick check. Somebody needs to add “Do Not Piss and Tell” under “Do Not Kiss and Tell” in the Ho Code.

According to the bastion of truthfulness called The National Enquirer, Michael Phelps would win more gold medals if golden showers was an Olympic sport. Actually, that’s not totally true. He’d be lucky to win silver if Kim Kartrashian competed. Anyway, a Craigslist dominatrix claims that in February 2013, Poseidon’s son contacted her after seeing her ad and agreed to give her a $900 “donation” to come over to his NYC hotel room with a fully loaded bladder. Yup, apparently, he’s really into water sports.

Kim Pietro says that the newly engaged Michael Phelps used the alias “Fabian Marasciullo,” which is the name of Lil Wayne’s mixing engineer, when he contacted her, but she recognized the world-famous human dolphin as soon as he opened the door. The BBW domme continued to spill the tea about spilling the pee all over the god of the pool:

“When he said drink some water before I get to the hotel, I knew what I was in for. I was going to go to the bathroom anyway – I figured I might as well get paid for it!

He was definitely impressed with his body and showing off. I got above him [on the bed] to do the ‘golden shower.’ “After I was done, he asked if it was okay to [pleasure himself]. Of course, I’m going to bend the rules a little for a famous Olympian, so he pulled down his panties.”

Kim said that after he pulled down his silky chonies, she noticed a string tied around his down low parts and she pulled the string before bringing her chichis out for him. The National Enquirer wants you to know that Kim passed a lie detector test, which means she’s totally telling the truth, because lie detectors are liar-proof!

If any of this is true, Michael Phelps really needs to make his hos sign a confidentiality agreement. First that Taylor Lianne Chandler chick tells the tabloids that she was “Michael Phelps’ intersex lover” and now this!

This makes sense, though. I mean, Michael Phelps is a professional swimmer. One minute you’re feeling a jolt of excitement hit your parts after you piss in the pool and then your nipples get hard when you swim into a “warm spot” and before you know it you’re paying a Craigslist dominatrix $900 to make it rain gold on your chest. I bet the next time Michael Phelps is training in the pool, Ryan Lochte is going to swim over to him and leave him a warm gift before saying, “That one’s on the house.”

And here’s pictures from MySpace of the domme who might have decorated Michael Phelps’ body with liquid gold. I know, the weirdest part of this story is that people still use MySpace.

Pics: Getty, MySpace