Category: Jamie Bell
Kate Mara Gave Birth To A Baby Girl
My predictive powers are unmatched. Back in January, when they announced they were having a baby, I predicted that we’d all forget that Kate Mara and Jamie Bell were a couple until the baby was born. Be honest with me now, did you forget? I sure did! Well I’m here to remind you that they are still very much an item, and they just had a baby girl.
Kate Mara And Jamie Bell Are Having A Baby
The Mara sister, who is probably not Anna Kendrick, and the baby-faced Brit, who probably didn’t play Spider-Man, are having a baby! Jamie Bell is definitely a different person from Tom Holland even though they both played Billy Elliot and look like they could be twins. He and Kate Mara (who was on House of Cards) were married in 2017, and have just announced that they are expecting their first child together. This will be Jamie’s second kid, he has a 5-year-old boy with his ex-girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood. I had no idea these two were even together, let alone married, let alone not those other people I mentioned before!
Mostly Everyone Did Black At The BAFTAs With Varying Degrees Of Success
It would have been a nearly all-black fashion show at the BAFTAs in London last night, in honor of the Time’s Up movement. But the class average was brought down by Duchess Kate (who was prevented from wearing black by royal no-politics protocol), and Frances McDormand (who just didn’t feel like it and showed up in pink-on-black instead).
For mostly everyone else, it was a multitude of black. Or black with a random kick of not-black, like Allison Janney. And by random, I mean a satin choker bolero on top of a Bibhu Mohapatra dress. It looks like a shirt made from the bottom half of Roger the Alien from American Dad that was put on backwards and upside down.
Billy Elliot And Zoe Barnes Just Got Hitched
Kate Mara has always seemed like the more relatable of the Mara sisters. You know, the type to actually go with Grandpappy to the Giants games while Rooney skulked around in the corner wondering who was going to take her to Hot Topic. Well, now she’s gone and done it! Us Weekly reports Kate has walked down the aisle and married Britain’s national treasure (sorry, TOWIE cast) Billy Elliot, also known as Jamie Bell. Kate Instagrammed confirmation of the nuptials Monday:
Kate and Jamie worked together on Fantastic Four in 2015. She told gossip bloodhound Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live that they had actually known each other for nearly ten years before then – but sparks and love didn’t fly until the conveniently had a movie to hawk on the press tour. And ever since, she’s been plie-ing up and down Billy’s pipe! No word on what the couple plans to do on the honeymoon, but fingers crossed it involves Kate teaching Jamie to not always look like she’s about to spoil the next episode of House of Cards.
Pic: Wenn.com
Evan Rachel Wood Dumped Billy Elliot So She Could Spend More Time With Her Baby
When it was announced that the Los Feliz hipster love between Evan Rachel Wood and Jamie Bell was given a quick kombucha-scented death after only 18 months of marriage and less than 10 months after the birth of baby Anonymous, I knew something in the farmer’s market organic soy milk ain’t clean. My guess was that Evan caught Jamie cheating on her with a chick who works at Urban Outfitters (“How could you?!? That’s a mall store!”) or that Evan admitted she didn’t really like Portlandia (“Ew, you watched mainstream television? Why don’t you just buy a latte from Starbucks and move to the suburbs!”).
As it turns out, it was far less dramatic. A source tells People that Evan sort of hung up her black felt bowler hat on the whole wife thing once baby Anonymous came into her life:
“Evan loves being a mom. After her son was born, he has been her No. 1 priority. The marriage always came in second. They have different goals for the future and want to pursue them separately,” the source says.
“Nothing dramatic happened. They are friends and will continue to parent their son together. They have been friends for years and are happier this way than being married. Evan is very edgy and adventurous and wants to find a partner that she can share that with.”
Oooh, shots of subtle shade fired on Billy Elliot! “They’re still like, best friends, but Evan is edgy and adventurous and cool and funny and talented and not boring and just wants to find someone similar, you know?”
But back to baby Anonymous. I thought that during the first year, babies spent most of their time peeing, crying, tearing apart your nipples, projectile vomiting leche all over the place, and finding new and unique ways to shit their pants. So baby Anonymous must be the coolest, most fun baby in the history of babies to make Evan Rachel Wood want to say sayonara to Billy Elliot. Does baby Anonymous grant wishes? Does he poop Twix minis? Does he give sincere compliments? What is it?
Pic: Splash
Evan Rachel Wood And Billy Elliot Are Over
Today, hipsters everywhere are pouring out a Red Solo Cup full of lavender and fennel-infused artisanal ale for the fallen hipster love they thought would last forever or at least until the next Sun Kil Moon album comes out. If a hipster couple who always dresses like roadies for The Culture Club can’t make it, what hipster couple can?
After 18 months of being married (which is 550 years in hipster years) and 10 months after her hipster vagine spit out their unnamed patchouli-scented hipster baby, Billy Elliot has decided to twirl away from Evan Rachel Wood. Evan and Jamie Bell’s rep pulled out their go-to generic break-up statement, changed the names and then released it to UsWeekly:
“Evan Rachel Wood and Jamie Bell have decided to separate. They both love and respect one another and will of course remain committed to co-parenting their son. This is a mutual decision and the two remain close friends.”
Uh huh, we’ll see how close they’ll remain when they have to divide up their joint collection of foreign movie poster t-shirts, obscure 70s band vinyls and porcelain Danish figurines of old ladies carrying laundry. Poor Auden Pabst Sage (I’m guessing that’s what they named their kid) is going to witness an all-out hipster war.
I ranted about this when they got married, but I’m going to bring it up again. This would’ve never happened if they didn’t get married on a Tuesday. A Tuesday!