You guys are so lucky. A journalist had to spend at least a month receiving very personal text messages from Lena Dunham, then had to visit her at both her California bungalow and her parents’ “stately residence” and interview her for what probably amounted to hours upon hours of solipsistic tedium. Then I had to read the resulting profile which gave me a migraine and mild indigestion. Now you get to sit there wherever you are and reap the benefits of our suffering. Think about that when you tell your friend later that you read somewhere that Lena is thinking about adopting a “hairless black puppy” that she wants to name Rosa but was worried people would be mad at her “bc of Rosa Parks bc” she has to “consider those things”. So, consider that!
Good news for any of y’all looking to name your kid Carrot: you won’t have to worry about sharing that with Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff! Lena, who hasn’t been in a relationship with Jack for eight months, felt the need to tweet at Jack a list of the names they considered for a potential child. Oh, child…DMs exist for a reason!
Since that paean to borderline personality disorder Girls wrapped up after six seasons, Lena Dunham is mostly known for the end of her five-year relationship with musician Jack Antonoff. She’s gotten some mileage out of it (a couple of essays and speculation about a new dude in her life), but the gossip cycle is about one yoctosecond long and people could very well start to ask “who she?” in regards to the writer/actress.
So it’s time to make the donuts. Hence, Lena posted a pic of herself on Instagram cuddling with her ex, despite their romance decaying in its grave. They’re still friends or something. Somewhere in New Zealand, Lorde just got this pic in a DM from Lena with the caption #YourMoveBitch.
Ah, sad and alone – truly the peanut butter and jelly of shitty emotions. We’ve all been there, but unlike all of our own stories about being sad and alone, Lena Dunham’s was published by Vogue.
Earlier this month, Lena Dunham’s ex-boyfriend Jack Antonoff was papped getting cozy with a model/artist Carlotta Kohl at a sports ball game, garnering all sorts of unearned attention and you know we can’t have that! Lena must have seen those pics and immediately set Operation Me Me Me into action because today The Daily Mail has EXCLUSIVE pictures of Lena “casually” strolling around West Hollywood with an unnamed mystery man. Yes, there was PDA. Yes, there was an eye-catching outfit. And yes, there was a foray into a marijuana dispensary because you guys do know that Lena is like super chill and cool, right?
This story is getting more play than I ever expected, and by that, I mean I’m surprised at myself for being so invested in the love life of the annoying one from Girls (I know, they’re all annoying…but the really annoying one, you know??). Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff broke up only a few weeks ago, but it quickly came out he had moved on pretty quickly and she kinda hadn’t. There were rumors that he might be humping on Lorde, which would have been the source of some delightful passive aggression at Taylor Swift’s next squad soiree, but that’s no longer the case. He’s dating a model! Continue reading