Ah, sad and alone – truly the peanut butter and jelly of shitty emotions. We’ve all been there, but unlike all of our own stories about being sad and alone, Lena Dunham’s was published by Vogue.
Earlier this month, Lena Dunham’s ex-boyfriend Jack Antonoff was papped getting cozy with a model/artist Carlotta Kohl at a sports ball game, garnering all sorts of unearned attention and you know we can’t have that! Lena must have seen those pics and immediately set Operation Me Me Me into action because today The Daily Mail has EXCLUSIVE pictures of Lena “casually” strolling around West Hollywood with an unnamed mystery man. Yes, there was PDA. Yes, there was an eye-catching outfit. And yes, there was a foray into a marijuana dispensary because you guys do know that Lena is like super chill and cool, right?
This story is getting more play than I ever expected, and by that, I mean I’m surprised at myself for being so invested in the love life of the annoying one from Girls (I know, they’re all annoying…but the really annoying one, you know??). Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff broke up only a few weeks ago, but it quickly came out he had moved on pretty quickly and she kinda hadn’t. There were rumors that he might be humping on Lorde, which would have been the source of some delightful passive aggression at Taylor Swift’s next squad soiree, but that’s no longer the case. He’s dating a model! Continue reading
It didn’t take long after Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff announced they were over for stories to come out about how he’s moved on and was dating a “musician“. People also questioned who his rumored “musician” rebound was and the bets were being placed on Lorde. But don’t you dare ever think of Jack and Lorde in such a way! Whether or not Jack and Lorde are engaging in sacred heterosexual acts of boy-on-girl dating rituals is none of your business. Lorde confirmed she too wasn’t feeling the speculation by retweeting Jack’s tweet.
normally i would never address rumors but i resent having the most important friendships and working relationships in my life reduced to dumb hetero normative gossip. those relationships are deeply important and sacred. with that said, im not seeing anyone. lol.
— jackantonoff (@jackantonoff) January 17, 2018
Hetero normative gossip? I know Jack swears he’s single, but he and Lena Dunham really ought to think about finding a way to make it work between the two of them. They’re obviously soul mates.
And you hear that ladies? Jack is single and ready to mingle! But only if you’re seriously invested in such a deep commitment as dual-single mingling. No casual hook-ups need apply. Please provide letters of reference from at least two previous sacred relationships, as well as a brief description on what “deep” means to you.
Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff of Fun. and Bleachers fame officially broke up this week after five years of him having to deal with her broadcasting every thought in her head to the dismay of many. In a related story, Dlisted’s own Allison may have been revealed to be a powerful psychic, because she guessed that the “musician” that Jack might be currently dating is his new favorite artist – interpretive dancing queen Lorde. He produced her latest record. Allison, we’re not going to need you to cough up the Powerball numbers now. Thank you. Continue reading
On Tuesday Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff let everyone know that they had called it quits after five and a half years of dating. And apparently about five and a half five seconds after they called it quits, Jack moved on.