Category: Ina Garten

Ina Garten Talks About Why She Doesn’t Have Any Kids

April 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Ina Garten, host of Barefoot Contessa and chef who always makes my lazy ass feel guilty for using store bought tomato sauce, is the secondary star of her Food Network empire. The real star is, of course, her husband of 48 years Jeffrey Garten. Every time Jeffrey pops in to their home in East Hampton, they’re all over each other like a bunch of horny teenagers. They seem like the type of couple who have a dozen kids that still have nightmares of seeing their mom and dad sneak a bowl of strawberries and a canister of whipped cream up to their bedroom. But they don’t have any children.

69-year-old Ina recently revealed during a recent appearance on Katie Couric’s podcast (via People) that not having kids was something she and 71-year-old Jeffrey specifically chose not to do. I can hear the people at Make-A-Wish saying, “Oh, is it because you hate children???”  It’s because Ina wanted to be a professional food person.

“We decided not to have children. I really appreciate that other people do and we will always have friends that have children that we are close to but it was a choice I made very early. I really felt, I feel, that I would have never been able to have the life I’ve had. So it’s a choice and that was the choice I made.”

Ina made a smart choice. Kids get into everything, and there’s no way she’d be the Ina we know today if she had kids. Telling viewers “This is where I’d add a pinch of really good saffron, but those little brats dumped it all on the carpet” just doesn’t have the same relaxing ring to it.



And Now Anthony Bourdain Will Drag Douchey Porcupine Guy Fieri

July 16, 2015 / Posted by:

I will never ever forgive Anthony Bourdain for calling Royal Academy of Arts-trained tablescape artist and drunk angel Sandra Leepure evil” and the “hell spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker.” The only way I’ll ever forgive him is if he takes his show Parts Unknown to a dark and dangerous place called my b-hole. Yes, they’ll have to change the name of the show to Parts Too Known for that episode. However, my mouth still waters when Anthony whips up a good old-fashioned flambéed bowl of cunt stew with a side of mashed snark. Anthony served some of that up during the Atlanta, GA stop of his national tour last Saturday.

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