If you don’t have your own distillery, dive bar-bought whiskey is fine…I guess? Since Martha Stewart has a leg up in the millennial department by latching herself to Snoop Dogg and implying she’s a rich white lady stoner, Ina Garten has to do something beyond hang out with Taylor Swift to show she’s a cool old broad. So she went day drinking with Seth Meyers. As part of his sometimes day-drinking segment, Seth had Ina meet him at the Corner Bistro in the West Village to toss back a few of her favorite cocktails and then talk shit on fast food condiments.
Vulture gave a bit of a run-down of the bawdy bar banter, including Seth uncovering Ina may have a lady foot fetish after she correctly matched bare feet to Julia Roberts, Scarlett Johansson, and Jennifer Aniston. At first I thought this shit was fake because, while Seth proved it possible to chug shit like a Pimm’s Cup and ruined Ina’s “favorite cocktail” of a whiskey sour, she was just giving a polite sip why day dreaming about being back in the Hamptons (or anywhere that wasn’t a bar in the Village). However, the best part came when Seth turned the tables of “Which Condiment Is Trash And Which Is Ina’s” (they called their game that in so many words).
Seth had been forced to guess which horseradish sauce was Ina’s and which was Arby’s. Seth pretended to like hers over the fast food masterpiece, but when he made Ina taste it, she replied, “Wahhhh.” I thought Ina’s tears were reserved only for when she saw someone eating Minute Rice! However, Ina didn’t seem to mind the KFC gravy since she said, “It tastes like gravy.” That’s Barefoot Contessa for, “This tastes better than mine, but I have a $40 cookbook promote.” Where we knew Ina was fucked up on the sauce (alcoholic and KFC gravy) was when Seth gave her a cake he “made” from one of her recipes. Ina’s cakes are perfect cylinders of deliciousness she feeds exclusively to Jeffrey and gays coming down from a circuit party on Fire Island. Seth’s looked like a sand castle after high tide passed over it a few times, but Ina still said how much she loved it. I don’t know what’s going to hurt Ina more the next day: her hangover or seeing that turd cake stinking up her Tupperware on the counter!