Yes, read that headline again. If you’re high, read it a third time. This is the type of fuckery that takes place down in Port St. Lucie, FL where 23-year-old Andrew Anthony Gallagher decided that paying with cash is so 2018. He’s looking ahead to the new shit for 2019 and it involves using a different kind of green as currency; marijuana.
As a Canadian person, I can confidently assure outsiders who look upon Canada as this always-smiling apologetic utopia that it’s not. It’s cold for about 11 months of the year. Near every pond lurks a pack of Canada Geese that will either try to bite you or will laugh as you slip on their poo. But at least we can now legally smoke all our problems away, because today marks the first day that cannabis is 100% legal in Canada.
Melissa Etheridge was arrested in North Dakota for possession of drugs by U.S. Customs and Border Control after returning from Canada back in August. According to TMZ, a K9 unit of drug sniffing dogs searched her tour bus and found a stockpile of drugs so shocking, so brazenly devious that it prompted this happy mug shot for the ages. Now I’m not saying that Melissa was a happy kind of stoned in her mug shot, but I am saying that Melissa was a happy kind of stoned in her mug shot, and that’s the only way to be.
Robin Thicke and his older brother Brennan have been trying really hard to paint Alan Thicke’s widow Tanya Callau as a demon from Gold Digging Hell. They’ve accused her of threatening to call the tabloids unless the details of her prenup were changed, and have threatened to sue to keep her hands off Alan’s estate. Tanya shot back, accusing them of launching a smear campaign against her, and confessed that she and Alan were trying to have a child before he died.
Tanya’s lawyer Adam Streisand tells TMZ that the reason why Robin and Brennan are smearing Tanya’s name has nothing to do with wanting more from the estate; they’re just seeking revenge on her because she won’t let them grow pot at Alan’s Santa Barbara ranch. There’s a Growing Pains joke in there somewhere, I know it.
Seen above making the kind of smile you make after taking a long toke of a new strain that hit you just right, Melissa Etheridge talked about her love of heaven’s most beautiful plant, weed, with Yahoo!’s project Weed & the American Family. Melissa says that as a good shit advocate, she’s working to erase the stigma of marijuana smokers. Melissa says that in her house, all her children know that she smokes, and she doesn’t smoke around her young ones, but she does get high with her oldest ones. And just like that, Brad Pitt burped up a text to his ex-friend Melissa asking her if she’d adopt him.
It truly is the end of times. The bible foresaw it!
Cheech and Chong 21:11 – And great earthquakes shall be in divers places, and famines, and pestilences; and fearful sights and Woody Harrelson shall quit the herb.
Legendary stoner Woody Harrelson, who once tried to open up a weed shop, has caused many stoners to smoke a bowl in his honor by announcing that he has broken up with the green. During an interview with Vulture to promote his new movie Wilson (which sadly isn’t a biopic pic about the ball from Cast Away), Woody said that it’s been almost 365 full days since the magical green cloud has entered his body. In possibly related news, the Taco Bell closest to Woody’s house closed down about a year ago due to lack of business.