It truly is the end of times. The bible foresaw it!
Cheech and Chong 21:11 – And great earthquakes shall be in divers places, and famines, and pestilences; and fearful sights and Woody Harrelson shall quit the herb.
Legendary stoner Woody Harrelson, who once tried to open up a weed shop, has caused many stoners to smoke a bowl in his honor by announcing that he has broken up with the green. During an interview with Vulture to promote his new movie Wilson (which sadly isn’t a biopic pic about the ball from Cast Away), Woody said that it’s been almost 365 full days since the magical green cloud has entered his body. In possibly related news, the Taco Bell closest to Woody’s house closed down about a year ago due to lack of business.
Miley Cyrus had three people in her life who were celebrating birthdays over this past week. Her little sister Noah Cyrus turned 18 on the 8th, and both her fiancé Liam Hemsworth and friend Wayne Coyne celebrated their birthdays on the 13th. Miley decided to save her stoner brain the trouble of remembering all those dates by rolling all three into one giant birthday party on Saturday.
Since weed has a tendency to make annoying things more tolerable and tolerable things wonderful, some people get high before they go to Disneyland. It’s really the perfect place for it: bright colors, tons of candy and people wearing oversized foam costumes. It’s like a wholesome rave! Andrew Garfield did this once, and he recently talked about getting Disneylit to W magazine.
TMZ says Lauren Jauregui, who you may know as the bisexual member of Fifth Harmony or the member who skillfully worked a welding torch without melting her extensions in the Work video, was caught with weed at Dulles Airport in Washington D.C. last night. Law enforcement tells TMZ that Lauren was stopped by TSA and selected for a secondary search. If Lauren was giving maybe-stoned face like she is in that picture above from the American Music Awards, I *think* I may have an idea why she was selected for a secondary search.
Somewhere there’s a bunch of high-strung worried moms that are thinking: “See? I just knew cigarettes were a gateway to hard drugs!”
The Sun says that back in September, Madonna’s 16-year-old son Rocco Ritchie was arrested for possession of marijuana about two miles from his father Guy Ritchie’s home. I’m not sure why we’re just hearing about this almost two months later. You know, considering we were practically given unsolicited up-to-the-minute updates from Madonna regarding her last situation with Rocco and Rocco’s daddy.
Millions of people have seen Doctor Strange (proof: the $85 million it made at the domestic box office this past weekend), but I bet that none of them were more enlightened by it than intergalactic sage Jaden Smith. Jaden Smith’s mind is already wide open so it takes something beyond powerful to open it up even more and that movie about a surgeon wizard did just that. If Marvel passed out donation baskets after every showing of Doctor Strange, Jaden would’ve dropped in the AMEX black card his parents gave him, because that movie was like a life-changing sermon to him. You won’t find me (totally) laughing at 18-year-old Jaden Smith, because when I was around his age, I saw Showgirls for the first time and immediately declared that holy work of art my new spiritual advisor, and it still is!