Yep, that’s Jersey girl Meryl Streep the moment she discovered she’s totally allowed to blaze in her home state. That’s right! New Jersey, Arizona, Montana, and South Dakota all voted to legalize recreational marijuana. They join twelve other states, including California, Colorado and Illinois. And all of Canada. New Jerseyites immediately hit Google to study up; searches of “how to roll a joint” rose 3,000% on election night. Ehh, it ain’t that hard. Easier than rollin’ a cannoli! Pause for laughs.
But for real, rolling a quality joint is actually a pretty difficult feat. Despite lessons from friends who’ve repeatedly told me, “roll *with* the filter, WITH the filter!”, mine always end up resembling stubby little chodes. I’ve also noticed that people who claim they roll great joints aren’t even that good. From my personal experience, Canadian East Coasters either omit the filter or make it so tiny it falls out. So by the end of the joint, you’re just sucking on tight, spitty paper (sincere apologies to the Maritimers who don’t do this). I’ll stick to my convenience store glass pipes, thank you very much!
The search term “when will weed be legal in New Jersey?” was also trending. Unfortunately for those Googlers, they’ll have to wait, as there’s still a lot of red tape to go through. But new law states that marijuana will be legal to grow, smoke, and sell starting in 2021. Plus you’ve gotta be 21 years old. So that means even if teens take a page outta AJ Soprano’s book, and smoke weed at their own confirmations, they’ll still be little lawbreakers:
“Be a good Catholic for fifteen fucking minutes, is that so much to ask?!”