Jim Bob And Michelle Duggar Aren’t Happy About The “Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets” Docuseries
The occasions for which Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar turn off their perma-creep-smiles are few and far between. The last time was probably when the law dared to hold their molesting, child pornography-possessing son, Josh Duggar, accountable for his despicable actions. But, a new Prime Video docuseries, Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets, came out today, and their daughter Jill Duggar and her husband Derick Dillard participated in it to speak out about the inner workings of the once clandestinely (but now obviously) sinister family and their extreme religious upbringing in the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), in which women are basically seen as constantly reproducing skirted vaginas with a smile. Naturally, Jim Bob and Michelle aren’t thrilled about it and barfed out a syrupy-yet-disapproving statement.
BREAKING: Michelle Duggar Wore LEGGINGS (Under Her Skirt) On An Outing With Some Of Her Daughters
Moon? Blue. Pigs? Flying. Hell? As frigid as a courtship date chaperoned by failed Arkansas senate hopeful Jim Bob Duggar because unredeemable son enabler Michelle Duggar just stretched the limits of her fundamentalist religion’s rule of only wearing dresses and skirts! Michelle was recently pictured wearing black leggings. Granted, she did wear a skirt over them, but it almost looked like she was only wearing pants. Don’t tempt the devil!
Josh Duggar Had Days Added To His 12.5 Year Prison Sentence And Is In Solitary Confinement For Sneaking In A Cell Phone
Clammy, rapidly regenerating big toe who miraculously gained sentience after smugly strolling out of an enabling Michelle Duggar’s skirted flop pocket, Josh Duggar, will have a couple fewer days to knock up Anna Duggar, the ride-or-die birth canal with arms and legs he married; because his 151-month sentence for being guilty of possessing child pornography was just extended by 41 days after he was caught with a smuggled-in cell phone. Josh has been held in solitary confinement since the phone was discovered and may have to stay there for months.
Anna Duggar Will Never Split From Josh Duggar
Last December, Josh Duggar was found guilty on both counts in his child sexual assault materials trial. That was a few weeks before Christmas, and nobody would have been the least bit surprised had Josh’s wife Anna Duggar written a letter to Santa that year, asking for divorce papers. But that didn’t happen, and according to sources, you’re never going to hear Anna say the words, “Oh, Duggar was my old last name, I don’t go by that anymore. And why yes, I did throw my cursed wedding ring into a swamp to make sure I never see it again.” Anna Duggar is currently married to a convicted sex offender who was sentenced to 151 months (or a little over 12 years) in federal prison, and it’s going to stay that way, because sources are saying she’ll never, ever divorce that repulsive ball of grossness.
Josh Duggar And His Smug Face Have Been Sentenced To 151 Months In The Clink
Well, it looks like Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s heave-inducing pleas for the judge to go easy on their pedophile son, Josh Duggar, fell harder than Michelle’s hair in humidity (or Jim Bob’s failed Senate campaign). Because Mr. Potato Head’s child-touching trash nephew was sentenced today to 12 and a half years in federal prison for possessing child sex abuse materials. If only cameras were allowed in the courtroom. My drug of choice today would be watching the smug fall off of Josh’s face as he was sentenced. But then again, I’m pretty sure the smug is permanently stuck to his mug.
Michelle Duggar Has Requested That The Courts Be Lenient In Sentencing Josh Duggar
That picture of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar standing in front of a crinkled Dollar General plastic tablecloth and hastily thrown-together balloon basket could be the inspiration for so many jokes related to their convicted creep son, Josh Duggar. Like those balloons that say “55” – that’s how many years minimum Josh should spend behind bars (with the option to auto-renew another 55 years immediately after). Or the basket and the balloons itself. Why not tie a whole bunch of balloons to a basket and release Josh into the sky, to float directly into the sun? All good options! But if you ask Michelle, she’s pleading with the court system to take pity on her son.