Alex Forrest from “Fatal Attraction,” is that you? No, it’s Crazy Eyes!!! Yesterday, she posted another YouTube where she unleashes on Kathie Lee Gifford again. In case you blocked it out, Kathie Lee said that somebody should whack Tricia. Kathie Lee responded and said she didn’t mean that somebody should off Crazy Eyes. She meant that someone should take her out on a date. That’s funny, because anybody that agrees to take Crazy Eyes out on a date must be whacked in the head.

Seriously, Kathie Lee better watch it. If I was her, I would cover my bedroom with mirrors and bright lights and lock myself in there.

Crazy Eyes also talked about selling her ex-husband’s condoms on eBay. And she plans to post a special present for her ex-husband on her website tomorrow in honor of his birthday. Gulp. She’s going to post a picture of a boiled bunny rabbit. Isn’t she?

While watching this video, I kept waiting for her to grab that candlestick and furiously beat the camera guy with it.

Thanks Christel

Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen were back in court last week after Denise accused Charlie of some fucked up shit. Denise presented a video to the court of her daughters, Sam and Lola, acting “strangely.” Strangely? Were they showing affection towards her because that would be strange.

Basically, Denise was trying to say that she thinks Charlie molested their daughters. Charlie and his lawyers immediately denied that shit and showed video of the girls acting normal around him.

A source told Page Six that Denise only dragged Charlie into court because her reality show is tanking and she’s desperate to come up with exciting shit, “She thinks a court battle would be good for ratings so she wants all overnight visits with the girls ceased, and monitored visits with her nanny. She invited the media circus to the hearing and even wanted reporters in the judge’s chambers – which wasn’t allowed. It’s ridiculous.” She’s accusing Charlie of child touching the girls in order to save her reality show? Denise needs to come and talk to me! That’s not the way to get ratings. If she wants ratings, she needs Heather Locklear! Ha! Well, Heather saved “Melrose Place.” Nothing can save a sinking reality show faster than a good-old fashioned catfight.

Charlie is planning to sue her for defamation and fight her for full custody of the girls.

It’s getting ugly. Uglier than that thing on Charlie’s head. At this point, I think the court should do what’s best for the girls and immediately hand them over to a pack of wolves.

Blah…blah…Wino is wrecked….blah…blah… I swear, doesn’t the Crackie of Camden ever get fucking sick of being the Crackie of Camden? Some days, doesn’t she wake up and think, “I’m not going to shoot heroin my eyeballs today. That’s boring. I’m going to bake a cake instead.” Being a crackhead seems so exhausting.

Wino was out in full force on Sunday morning. She punched a wall, screamed at her security and then burst into crack tears. Typical shit. Wino was back to wearing the ballet slippers that even a cracked out dog wouldn’t chew on. And her skin is still eating itself. It has to eat something! I also don’t think Wino put that flower in her crack hive on purpose. I think her crack hive is starting to grow things. Ugh.

Wino’s daddy, Mitch, told The Sun, “Amy is doing fine.” Yes, Wino just looks like a basket of sunshine, kittens and rainbows. Somebody throw Mitch in the crazy house already.

This is the teaser trailer for Oliver Stone’s “W” and it’s going to be a disastrous shit show of epic proportions. I can’t fucking wait for this shit. It looks like a “Saturday Night Live” skit. I laughed like Dubya reading “Marmaduke” on Sunday mornings. I’m not sure I was supposed to laugh.

“You’re a Bush! Act like one!” This shit is going to make be amazing. I just hope the movie theaters start serving booze just for this crap fiesta.

Thandie Newton does Condi Rice better than Condi Rice!

VIA ONTD

Smith, potty of two! Your bowels are ready…Smith, potty of two! – Captain Who-Who

Runners-up:

Welcome to Bulemia King. How can I help you? Would you like an Ex-Lax shake to go with your Olestra fries? – Degror

Trust me, you do not want to sit on a stool at this joint! – Christie Love

Aaron McCargo, Jr. from The Next Food Network Star and Big Daddy’s House – What the hell is holding in that picture? Is that a cupcake or a half-peeled apple? Why would he hold a half-peeled apple? It’s too early for life questions like this.