When Kanye West reignited his beef with Drake earlier this week I knew we were all about to be treated to some good old-fashioned Yeezy fuckery in the days to come. And so far, he and Drake’s beef is still going on, which doesn’t shock me in the least because noted famewhores love to titillate the masses with trifling behavior. But I will say I didn’t see this next move coming since now it’s being reported that Kanye wants to throw away the name we’ve all come to associate with shenanigans and shorten it to the bite-sized nickname everyone’s been using for years: Ye.
If the FBI weren’t already on high alert over whatever the fuck it is that Kanye West is up to in Wyoming, I sure as hell hope they are now. The music video for Kanye’s single Closed on Sunday off his album Jesus Is King is here and well… picture The Partridge Family only with ugly (OK uglier) clothes, and instead of driving around in a fun hippy van, they trundle through a bleak landscape in a convoy of armored vehicles that look like they were designed for Burning Man by Elon Musk. And instead of being a family sitcom, it’s a cult recruitment video that doubles as a Chick-Fil-A commercial starring The Kardashians with Kris Jenner in the role of Wealthy Widow Shirley Jones. I hope the residents of Cody, Wyoming, where Kanye now owns two $14 million ranches, have seen the Netflix documentary Wild Wild Country and know to stay away from the salad bar at their local Chick-Fil-A.
In Please-Stop-Giving-This-Man-Money News: Kanye West has revealed his new shoes and they are atrocious. They look like what a Lego Bionicle wears on it’s feet. Lego, I think you have a lawsuit here. I mean, what else could we really expect from the man who brought us his house slippers/sandals/mandatory prisonwear? His new “eco-friendly” Yeezys are here and they are created from algae. Which is good, cause when these get burned for being ugly it won’t hurt the environment, right?
In case you needed any more evidence that Kanye West is as suitable for fashion design as Kim Kardashian is suitable for rocket science, he shared some of his “sketches” on Twitter from his new Yeezy 2019 collection. I put sketches in quotations because: are they? Are they, really?
Kanye West’s fashion companies Yeezy and Unknwn are being sued for ripping off camouflage patterns. I guess good old-fashioned Vietnam War era jungle camo just isn’t good enough for Kanye. With his fashions, as in his private life, Kanye’s always striving to offer most authentic experiences money can buy. According to TMZ, when it came time to refresh Yeezy’s camouflage patterns, Kanye went directly to Jordan Outdoor Enterprises, a company that makes real camo for real hunters with real guns to discuss camo patterns for real scenesters with real IG accounts and real money to burn. However, turns out Kayne may have shot himself in the foot by allegedly skipping a few crucial steps in the licensing process.