Kanye West’s “Jesus Is King” Is Out, But Was Still Late
After delays and tons of bullshit and various Sunday Church Service performances where Kanye West acted like he was God’s God, said incredibly stupid shit while pretending to wax poetic, and sold you extremely overpriced merchandise in the name of Jesus, his new album Jesus Is King is out. Before it’s release, he had a YouTuber release a single, and he’s also been offered to come visit super pastor, Joel Osteen‘s Sunday service! A lot going on for this mess who is using Jesus’ name to generate a shit ton of money and publicity for himself! Nothing blasphemous to see here!
Vulture reports that Kanye West decided to give a shoutout to the women of the world like his wife, Kim Kardashian West, and decided to use the influencer known as Girl With No Job to debut his new song. Influencers Claudia and Jackie Oshry–known as Girl With No Job and Jackie O Problems–debuted the song on their YouTube morning show (I am so out of touch with what the youth get up to) The Morning Toast. (Apropos of nothing: Vulture says that their last show The Morning Breath was cancelled because of anti-Muslim tweets from 2018, so… just for your FYI).
On yesterday’s show, Jackie told viewers about Kanye’s people reaching out saying:
“We love your singing and we’d love to hear your version of a song off the new Kanye album before it comes out to the public slated for Friday. Please see sheet music attached and post a YouTube video if you’re up for it.”
Jackie was lit:
“Not only did I get recognized by Kanye West and his team, they said they liked my voice and then I got his new song. It’s very real. It’s very legit.”
Kanye West liking your voice means nothing in this day and age. He thinks Donald Trump is a good President–like clearly his opinion means nothing. Here’s their rendition of Closed On Sunday and it’s… terrible. Watching three white girls sing this black-gospel-music-inspired rap which was purposely sent to them by Kanye is just so encapsulating of this whole experience:
TMZ says that Kanye also caught Joel Osteen’s attention with all this monetary-profit-guised-as-Jesus-worship. I guess Kanye slut-shaming his own wife really piqued Joel’s interest.
Kanye may be making an appearance at Joel’s own Sunday Service as sources have told TMZ that Joel and Kanye chat on the phone from time to time. Like in the last two weeks? They’v definitely talked about Jesus together, or whatever. Joel has apparently invited Kanye to come to his Houston, Lakewood megachurch–you know the one that helped all those people during Hurricane Harvey out of the goodness of their Christian hearts because they make millions of dollars and have nothing to do with it except help society and not buy expensive shit for themselves?
Joel’s service reaches 100 million homes in America and tens of millions around the world. Source say Joel didn’t ask Kanye to perform because he didn’t want to “put Kanye on the spot” but if Kanye wanted to do a little psychotic monologue about how Democrats invented racism and Donald Trump will save all black people, then Joel would love it!
Kanye will have lots of songs to promote inspire the crowd with because Rolling Stone says his album Jesus Is King was finally released. It’s made up of 11 tracks and is TWENTY-SEVEN minutes long. Twenty seven minutes, eh? And it didn’t come out at midnight as Kanye promised it would. It came out 12 hours later at noon today. Kanye was tweeting about mixing the album last night:
To my fans
Thank you for being loyal & patient
We are specifically fixing mixes on “Everything We Need” “Follow God” & “Water”
We not going to sleep until this album is out!— ye (@kanyewest) October 25, 2019
Here’s the track list if you care:
So Kanye fans waited for this and spent actual money on an album that’s shorter than an episode of Modern Family? Okay. Maybe he’s giving you the full Jesus treatment and will follow up with more music in a couple of days? Like he gives you a hint on Friday and then on Sunday Jesus rises again and you get the other twenty-seven minutes of the album? Maybe, since he also has another album, Jesus Is Born, planned for Christmas. Although Hailey Bieber will have to sit him down and let Kanye know that Jesus wasn’t actually born on Christmas…
Pic: Instagram