Category: Try The Jello
Coronavirus Has Come For Tom Hanks And Rita Wilson
In case you couldn’t tell from everyone’s mom, auntie, sister, brother, uncle, dad, grandpa, grandma, cousin, gynecologist, favorite barista, weed man, and everybody else not named Henry Winkler forming a prayer circle around a St. Hanks candle, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have both tested positive for coronavirus. This is the worst Tom Hanks-related news since we all found out he was half responsible for inflicting Chet Haze upon the world.
Stephen Sondheim Took A Tumble At His Home
We’re only a week into the new year, and 2020 is testing us already. The New York Post reports that 89-year-old Stephen Sondheim fell at his home a few days ago. I can’t imagine that was an easy call for the 911 operator to receive. “Stephen Sondheim fell sometime today, send help, he’s hurt!” It must be hard to focus when your ears are being drilled with the alliterative pizazz of a Sondheim lyric.
98-Year-Old Prince Philip Is Currently In The Hospital, And The Queen Is Out Of Town
Prince Philip might be hanging his Christmas stocking on the end of a hospital bed this year. People magazine says that Buckingham Palace confirmed this morning that Queen Elizabeth’s 98-year-old husband checked into a London hospital today, and they’re not sure when he’ll be out.
French Montana Was Taken To The Hospital For Heart Issues
TMZ reports that French Montana has been hospitalized in Los Angeles for a myriad of scary reasons, including cardiac issues, severe pain, and mysterious nausea. And apparently, he was only taken to the hospital because police thought he was acting weird. What were the police doing at his house? Dealing with a possible home robbery. It really isn’t French’s week.
John Singleton Is Reportedly In The Hospital After Suffering A Stroke
Two-time Oscar nominated writer and director John Singleton, who gave us Boyz n the Hood, Poetic Justice, Higher Learning and Baby Boy, is reportedly laid up in the hospital after suffering a stroke. So light your Poetic Justice prayer candle (yes, I’m checking to see if Etsy has one and filing a complaint if they don’t) for the man who brought us one of the best lines in cinematic history: “You wanna smell my punane?”
Britney Spears Is Reportedly In A Mental Health Facility To Deal With Her Dad’s Sickness
At the beginning of this year, we all raised our Velveeta grits-stirring wooden ladle as we sent healing thoughts to Daddy Spears and his colon after it ruptured and put him in a seriously sick way. Since Daddy Spears snatched the pink wig off of his little Cheetoling in 2007 and saved her, she returned the favor and announced that she was putting her Las Vegas show on hold to care for him. It seems like dealing with Daddy Spears’ worsening condition became a lot for her to take, and TMZ says she’s getting help. Continue reading