It’s been a minute or two since we checked in on career bridge arsonist Roseanne Barr. Unsurprisingly, things were still a mess in Roseanne’s neck of the woods. She had accused Sara Gilbert of killing her career (I didn’t realize Sara Gilbert’s Twitter handle was @therealroseanne). She was also complaining that she can’t use the f-word. Well, it looks like Roseanne found the sweet spot in the middle of the Venn diagram of people who have no problem saying offensive stuff, and people who still pick up the phone when they see her number on the call display, and apparently it’s Andrew Dice Clay.
Page Six reports that Roseanne and The Diceman have known each other for nearly three decades, and have decided to do a stand-up tour together called the Mr. & Mrs. America Tour. Andrew Dice Clay and Roseanne recently performed together at The Laugh Factory in Las Vegas back in March. Page Six says that Roseanne received a standing ovation at the show, and I guess that’s inspired her to go on tour with the dude who was famous in the 80’s for rhymes about Humpty Dumpty’s balls and yelling “OWE!”. I say “famous in the 80’s,” because present-day Andrew Dice Clay has sort of made a surprising second career as a guy who randomly shows up in Oscar-nominated films like Blue Jasmine and A Star is Born.
Both Andrew Dice Clay and Roseanne announced the news yesterday on Instagram, and yeah, they’re really leaning into the whole America theme.
View this post on Instagram
Andrew Dice Clay spoke to Fox News about the tour (know your audience, I guess), and he says people should go easy on Roseanne because she’s a comedian, and comedians should tell it like it is.
“She’s a comic because she’s wacky. I’ve known her since we were kids. When people ask about what she said, I say, ‘She’s a comic!’ We gotta stop policing comedians. This is America. America really needs to lighten up and not worry about the words comedians use because it’s all we have. There’s clean stuff and there’s street stuff. I’m a street guy because I tell it like it is. I’m living it more now than I have for a really long time.”
So far the tour is scheduled to start in Long Island, NY on September 19th, followed by Atlantic City, NJ on the 20th. If you have a loud-mouthed uncle that loves complaining about political correctness and you can’t find him on either of those days, you’ll know where he’s at. More dates will reportedly be added later. The opener will reportedly be Andrew Dice Clay’s frequent opener Eleanor Kerrigan. But since it’s two ultra-obnoxious people that were everywhere in the 80’s and 90’s, they should have stuck with the theme and asked The Noid to open for them.
Even though this tour sounds like the stunt of all stunts, Andrew tells Fox News that he and Roseanne are both really excited to be working together.
“We’re both excited because we both don’t give a shit what anybody thinks about anything. I decided not to run for president because it would be embarrassing for everybody else losing. It would be too easy.”
An Andrew Dice Clay/Roseanne Barr 2020 campaign would be successful with some voters, sure. Roseanne loves to tweet whatever bullshit enters her head, so she’s already acting somewhat Presidential. And you know there’s a demographic out there that’s like, “Sometimes I wish the President would stop using such big words like ‘collusion,’ and communicate in a more simple way, like the jack-off hand motion.”