The Trailer For “Wonder Woman 1984” Features An Unexpected Object

December 9, 2019 / Posted by:

Here, just in time to ruin James Cameron’s Christmas, is the trailer for Wonder Woman 1984: Quest For The Crystal Butt-Plug starring Gal Gadot. Spoiler alert, Pedro Pascal has it! When he pulled that bad boy out of its cave (1:10), it’s literally the only thing I could think about for the duration of the trailer. In fact, I’m still thinking about it right now, and I’ll continue to think about it until the end of time. However, if Chris Pine’s reappearance as the previously deceased WWI soldier Steve Trevor is any indication, time may be a relative concept in this film. Plus the movie doesn’t come out until next summer, so me and my thoughts about the butt plug I have a long cold winter ahead of us.

According to IndieWire:

The full trailer for director Patty Jenkins’ “Wonder Woman 1984,” which doesn’t open until summer 2020, has finally landed. The film finds Gal Gadot reprising her role as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, an immortal Amazon princess warrior. She is joined by her co-star from the first film, Chris Pine, plus Kristen Wiig as archaeologist Cheetah, Pedro Pascal, Connie Nielsen, and Robin Wright.

Here’s my question, where did people buy crystal butt plugs before Goop? Did this one come from The Sharper Image?

There’s a lot going on here. I’d be satisfied if they pared the movie down to just Gal walking around the mall looking chic in ‘80s lite fashions, and the Amazon Ninja Warrior taping that’s going down in Wonder Woman’s hometown. What I’m saying is we don’t need the crystal butt plug at all! It’s distracting. What is its purpose? I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s an even more intriguing co-star for Pedro than Baby Yoda. I wonder if Werner Herzog has seen it yet. I wonder— did he weep?

Pic: YouTube

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