Category: Revenge
Angelina Jolie And The Entire Child Army Stormed The Beach At Nobu Malibu
Scene: A glamorous woman, draped head-to-toe in luxurious satin, supine on a velvet settee. She reaches behind her to pick up a vintage mid-century telephone, inlaid with mother of pearl.
Hello, have I reached Nobu? I’d like to reserve your most conspicuous table please. One more small request, I’d like to order dessert ahead. Off-menu of course. Yes, thank you, I’ll have seven servings of revenge, served ice cold. That will be all.
M’aam. Like I said before, this is a Wendy’s.
Goddamit, HILDY! (shouted indelicately into the mansion’s cavernous void) Get me a fucking table at Nobu and tell all them kids to put on some fucking shoes, we’re going out.
That’s how I imagine things went down at Angelina Jolie’s house when she read the news that the father of her children, Brad Pitt, went public with his (probable) new, much younger girlfriend, in the pettiest way possible: by allowing them to get papped on their way to stay at his and Angelina’s old love-shack in France, Chateau Miraval. The place they were married by the same private judge who is currently presiding over their protracted divorce (and to whom Angelina objects).
Jessica Mulroney Might Be Keeping A List Of Her Haters
I’ll take a wild guess that most of us have never been fired from multiple on-air TV hosting gigs after we got caught faking an apology for threatening to end the career of a Black woman. So I can’t say for sure how most people would handle such a situation, but one could assume there would be lots of self-reflection and learning and humility. Well, Jessica Mulroney, former television stylist and friend of Meghan Markle, has lived this exact situation. And if personal growth is a journey, it sounds like Jessica has spent most of her trip complaining to her driver that the AC isn’t cold enough. According to Lainey Gossip, Jessica has allegedly been handling the fallout of her social media shittiness by keeping a list of everyone who crossed her online.
“Revenge” Is Getting A Latinx Reboot
I watched Revenge all the way through, and I’ll admit, the first and third seasons are the best ones while the second is all over the place, and watching the final season is like, “Okay let’s get this over with.” And it’s been off TV for a whole four years. So by today’s standards that means that it is ready for the reboot treatment!
Yes, a show popular with gays who liked watching two beautiful, powerful white women take each other down in society, wealth, family-relations and probably execution-style, is now ready to be redone. But this is Revenge for the current age and is getting a twist. It’s about a Latinx character getting revenge on a big pharmaceutical family who caused an epidemic. Wow: that is on the nose.
Taylor Swift Says She Will Re-Record All Her Songs
Kelly Clarkson was right! She’s always right. Okay, maybe not when it comes to mid-2000s highlights or movie scripts, but still. Taylor Swift revealed her plans to get back at Scooter Braun for owning six albums worth of her masters, and just like Kelly suggested, it involves Taylor re-recording all of her old music.
Jerry Lewis Left Six Of His Children Off Of His Will
Man, it really sucks to be one of Jerry’s Kids. And I don’t mean one of the ones with Muscular Dystrophy, they were lucky to have him. I mean it must suck to be one of Jerry Lewis’ actual kids, because he smooth wrote six of them out of his will! I mean, we know he was a salty old bird but he took that shit to a whole other level and salted his own grave.
Joss Whedon’s Ex Wife Kai Cole Rips Him A New One
Nerd King Joss Whedon’s ex wife Kai Cole is Not. The. One. She loves the smell of napalm in the morning and she doesn’t mind a whiff at lunch or after supper either. Yesterday she put Joss on BLAST with hot, hot fire words and blew up his spot like Michael Bay with an arsenal of nukes and walked away from the ashes in slow motion.