And In Random Couple News….

Rachel McAdams might have a look of pure happiness on her face in the picture above, because she’s on her way to get a piece! Specifically, get a piece of Michael Sheen. Yeah, I’m sure you’re already scratching your head due to the case of lice you caught from a one-night-fuck last night, but scratch extra hard at the thought of Rachel dating Michael Sheen.

This little bit of news comes from Lainey Gossip who watched Rachel and Michael flirt with each other at the after party for his movie Beautiful Boy at TIFF on Sunday night. Lainey writes that to her it looked like they met for the first time that night. Lainey went on to write, “But then they went to sit together on a couch and kept talking and not talking to anyone else. And then together they went over to the bar to talk some more. On the way they ran into others, and talked to those others together, and after getting more drinks they went back to their couch and kept talking and new others came and went while they continued to not be apart. And that’s not usually just a friend thing. That’s a thing thing. By the time I left, they’d been together like that for over an hour.”

And a few of Lainey sources told her that there’s definitely something there, but it’s still early on.

Rachel stopped humping on Ryan Gosling not too long ago, and I thought Michael Sheen was with Lorraine Stewart, but I guess that’s over? I’m not up on my Michael Sheen gossip. Yes, I’ll sign up for that course as soon as I hit the publish button on this shit.

If Rachel and Michael are doing it, then I’m a little surprised by her. Rachel strikes me as the type who would stay in line for the “indie-ish actor/musician/artist” buffet. I mean, I’d expect Rachel to pick up some Joseph Gordon-Levitt and maybe James Franco. But Michael Sheen?! Throwing me for a damn loop. For being a plate of steamed cauliflower without any seasoning, Rachel is just full of surprises!

P.S. (pronounced “peeee-nis”): The bald ginger bodyguard below? I would.

Blake Lively Is My Hero

The Sherlock Holmes premiere was last night in NYC, and this is what Blake Lively wore to that shit.

My space heater is on blast, I’ve got two pairs of socks on my feet, a heating pad is shoved up in my crack and I’m still cold. So I have to bow down to Blake Lively for not letting something called “weather” fuck with her tramping it up on the red carpet.

I’m sure Blake’s vagina is blowing steam and her nipples might have already fell off due to frostbite, but WHO CARES! Cameras are flashing and Blake has a show to put on! Don’t let some stupid Snow Miser shit get in the way of you showcasing those chichis!

Other hos, who obviously don’t have Blake’s dedication, at the premiere were: Jude Law, Robert Downey Jr., Rachel McAdams, Guy Ritchie and Rocco Ritchie.

Rachel McAdams’ Dynasty Moment

Any dress that offers maximum exposure of the titty…I mean…chest area, has shoulder pads and can easily pass for one of Sammy Jo Dean Carrington Fallmont’s wedding dresses gets an A+++ in my book. Another bonus is that if Rachel McAdams was suddenly possessed by the devil, causing her head to spin backwards, she wouldn’t have to turn her dress around! The front could pass for the back and vice versa. As my favorite alien, Ramona from The Real Housewives of NYC, would say: KA-DOOOZE!

Anyway, here’s Rachel and Erica Bana at the premiere for that movie that kind of sounds like Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure meets a Danielle Steel novel.

Is Rachel McAdams’ Sister The Mother Of Jude Law’s Baby Friend?

Jude “I Swear I’ll Pull Out In Time” Law announced that he has a fourth baby coming around the bend this Fall, but wouldn’t say who he knocked up. YourTango (via Star) is saying that Rachel McAdams’ younger sister, Hilary Swank Kayleen, is the woman who is brewing a little Jude Law baby in her womb. Apparently, Jude and Kayleen did fucky times last year without the help of a baby batter catcher mit.

They met in NYC when Kayleen came to visit her sister on the set of Sherlock Holmes. This might solve this blind item from CDAN:

This B+/A- movie actor had a great relationship with his C list movie actress co-star on one of his recent movies. It didn’t lead to anything romantic for them, but the actress did invite her sister to the set. Well one thing led to the other and the next thing you know the sister of the C list actress was pregnant. When our actor found out, he dumped the sister and is saying the child isn’t his. It made for a VERY tense time between the actress and the actor on their recent promotional tour.

However, Jude’s spokeswhore told Life & Style that Kayleen McAdams IS NOT THE MOTHER.

A source told Life & Style that Jude did meet his baby mama in NYC while he was filming SH in January, but that it was just one of those “fuck, dump and bounce” sort of things. After Jude left town, the woman found out she had a case of the babies. She contacted Jude’s publicist, they got a DNA test and that’s that! The source went on to say, “The two of them are by no means together, but Jude isn’t being a jerk about being a father. He’s willing to take responsibility for his baby. And she’s definitely keeping it. She’s probably about seven months along right now.”

Whoever, the lady is, she should name the baby Sherlock. It’s the right thing to do. Homegirl should also stick a few Propecia pills in her vag, so the baby can grab ’em and eat ’em. I mean, look at Jude’s “gone north” hairline. You can’t be too careful!

Sherlock Nipples

Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Homey: The Search For Jude Law’s Hairline starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law isn’t hitting theaters until Christmastimes, but there’s already a trailer out. Guy Ritchie sold out to the man and the result doesn’t look that awful. I mean, this isn’t the Sherlock Homey isn’t at all likes the books. This has a lot of fighting, hard nipples, lost hairlines, explosions, cliche slow-mo shit and silly British accents! Seriously, his accent is kind of funny. I bet Vadge’s roidy-pussay sounds like that when it’s had too much champagne. That was Guy’s inspiration.

Hopefully, Sherlock Homey won’t be the latest in a string of shit shows for Guy Ritchie. Although, Swept Away is still one of my favorite movies to bong too. Try it. Vadge’s acting skills paired with some of the sweet green makes for a hilarious fucking experience.

She’s Pretty Simple, Eh?

Jessica Simpson is giving credit to the Rachel McAdams movie “The Notebook” for helping her make the decision to leave husband, Nick Lachey. She told Elle Magazine that she watched the movie on a flight and realized it was time to end her marriage.

The 2004 film starred Rachel and Ryan Gosling as star-crossed lovers who are meant to be together, but their backgrounds tell them otherwise.

Jessica said, “I just figured out the statement. It was about that moment of desperation. I needed to breathe.”

Can somebody please play her “Dukes of Hazzard” on a flight so she can understand the statement that she’s a terrible actress and should stay away from anything creative.

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