Category: Penis Drama
Lenny Kravitz Went Topless For Men’s Health And Talked About His Friendship With Jason Momoa And That Iconic Dick Slip
Lenny Kravitz is 56 years of age. And he looks like that. Paul Rudd, Benjamin Button, and that adult psycho killer posing as a nine-year-old orphan in 2009’s Orphan ain’t got nothing on Lenny and his six-pack abs, which he generously displayed on the cover of this month’s Men’s Health.
In the interview, Lenny talked about his new memoir, entitled “Let Love Rule”, how he spent the pandemic in the Bahamas, his relationships with ex-wife Lisa Bonet and her current husband Jason Momoa, and that iconic dick slip (AKA the Bratwurst Breakout of 2015).
Open Post: Hosted By The Phone Charger That Had To Be Removed From A Man’s Bladder
Sex is weird. People make a lot of interesting choices when it comes to achieving sexual gratification. Dressing up like giant animals. Kinky bondage stuff. Or this 30-year-old man who allegedly inserted a 2-foot long mobile phone charger into his dick hole. Yes, urethral play is a thing, y’all. And while I am fucking terrified just reading about it, this man supposedly got deep into it. Unfortunately, the cord got lost and he had to go to the hospital. It’s a tale as old as time: Man inserts something somewhere it shouldn’t be and is forced to seek medical assistance!
Ansel Elgort’s Bulge Got Him Trending On Twitter
One possible anagram of Ansel Elgort is Enlarge Slot, which may actually be quite fitting. According to The Internet, anyone finding themselves with the opportunity to receive Ansel’s Elgort, may need to do just that. We are getting reports that Baby Driver’s gear shift is a baby’s arm. I know these are dry and flaccid times we are living in, and as such, I’m horrified to report that The Internet has decided that inspecting Ansel’s bulge with such scrutiny that he would up trending on Twitter, was a good use of its time. And the consensus is that DJ Adolescent Jared Kushner is packing meat.
A French Soccer Player Was Suspended Five Years For Biting His Opponent’s Penis
And now, in sports… WAIT! Don’t click away! It’s about dick! Although, it’s not a good dick story. A French football (or soccer to some) player got suspended for biting his opponent’s penis. According to local news outlet Lorraine Actu (via Sports Illustrated), the penis biting occurred during an amateur game between SC Terville and AS Soetrich (neither team pictured, those are totally different teams, so apologies to that soccer penis), soccer clubs in Lorraine, France. Two players began fighting on the pitch (translation: the green part), and a Terville player jumped in to break it up. Well, this peacemaker may regret not staying out of it, because that’s when a Soetrich player chomped down on his dick. Continue reading
Burt Ward Claims ABC Made Him Take Pills To Shrink Robin’s Bulge
When I was a kid, I was obsessed with reruns of the 1960s Batman TV series. And at one point, I had a Robin action figure with a karate-chop hand that, sadly, died when my cousin took a golf club to him in his driveway (an action figure of Data from Star Trek: TNG was also a tragic casualty of the Five Iron Massacre). All this to say, that I had no idea up until today that the higher ups at ABC allegedly wanted Burt Ward’s bulge situation to be as smooth and plain as the plastic crotch on my action figure.
Tiffany Haddish Says She Once Hooked Up With Chingy, He Says They Didn’t, But She Swears They Did
Tiffany Haddish recently dug deep into her hookup past and revealed that she once did it with rapper Chingy. Apparently when Chingy sang about inviting a lady to come roll with him in “One Call Away,” Tiffany was like “Yeah sure, what’s your number?” The only problem is, Chingy says that he never got with Tiffany back in the day, and called her a liar. Chingy should know by now that Tiffany will call you out every time, because she fired back that, yes, she did fuck Chingy.