Those horny furries are always ruining it for the more wholesome people with their animalistic passion for animated tiger daddies! Food-manufacturing giant Kellogg’s has had their Frosted Flakes cereal represented by animated thirst trap Tony the Tiger for eons now. They even had Tony on Twitter, proclaiming that Frosted Flakes were still “ggggreat!” after all these years. But Tony’s Twitter handle seemed to have mysteriously vanished sometime this past summer. The Huffington Post is theorizing that Kellogg’s removed Tony from Twitter because he was receiving too many sexual propositions from “furries.”
For those of you not in the know, “furries” are people who imagine themselves as anthropomorphic animals, depicting their “fursonas” in cartoon art and writing stories about them. And then they get together at conventions and private hangouts, wearing props like makeup, ears, tails, and sometimes giant mascot costumes with holes in appropriate places. Yes, being a furrie is often a sex-based fetish thingy. Listen, I sometimes imagine the adult Fred Savage in a thong. We’ve all got a little freak in us.
Tony the Tiger is apparently a goddamn sex god to some furries. Unfortunately for Kellogg’s, they obviously had no idea about the horny furries out there who wanted Tony to frost their flakes. I stole that line from what seems like maybe hundreds of take-offs on it in tweets to Tony from furries asking him to do that very same thing. Things got super sweaty when Tony got on Twitter.
Tony please put your whiskers in my ass
— Ryansock (@Ryansock03) July 8, 2018
@realtonytiger Hey Mr. Tony the Tiger, are your flakes frosted? I just wanna suck your dick please
— ?Markus? (@WildWolfToons) July 7, 2018
Tony…. I don't need your flakes. I just want your delicious love, your milk and sweet frosting, inside my mouth. C…. could you do that for me? Daddy? That'd be gr-r-reat.
— hawkbabble (@malniet) June 29, 2018
Wow – there are some forward furries out there. It got so bad that Tony had to ask them to stop.
I’m all for showing your stripes, feathers, etc. But let’s keep things gr-r-reat – & family-friendly if you could. Cubs could be watching ?
— Frosted Flakes (@frosted_flakes) January 28, 2016
Tony’s handle @realtonytiger’s last tweet was in May. Since then, Kellogg’s been handling all the Frosted Flakes business as the super bland @frosted_flakes.
Imagine the Kelloggs employees in the social media office who had to read the hundreds of tweets from real people asking Tony to fuck them? (I want that job.) Tony the Tiger is just trying to plug his cereal on social media and here come people in wolf costumes trying to slide into his DMs to ask him to plug them. Again, I want that job.