The “Friends” Reunion (That Wasn’t Really A Reunion) Happened Last Night

When it was rumored that the entire cast of Friends was going to reunite, people who watched all of that shit religiously had the same reaction I would have if an It’s A Living reunion was announced. They squirted out a foamy stream of excitement. But it turns out it wasn’t really a reunion. They just sat at the same table and said words together at NBC’s tribute to James Burrows which taped in L.A. last night. Johnny Galecki, who dressed up like a snobby French gallery owner, posted a picture on Instagram of the cast of Friends with the cast of The Big Bang Theory. Matthew Perry isn’t in the picture because even he doesn’t want to be seen with Kaley Cuoco. No, Chandler’s in London doing some play, so he couldn’t make it.

Never mind that Courteney Cox’s transformation into the plastic baby of Pete Burns and Michael Jackson is almost complete, I don’t think I ever really noticed how much of a hot silver top daddy Matt LeBlanc is now. And seeing him behind Jim Parsons and David Schwimmer is giving me Joey/Ross/Sheldon gay spit roast fantasies.

Pic: Instagram

Take In The Smooth Sexiness Of It All: Adrien Brody At The Emmys

Thanks to the fact that the temperature in L.A. was about as hot as a newly-released fart lingering in the Heat Miser’s chonies, everybody who went to the Emmys yesterday probably made squishy sounds when they walked because of the pools of sweat jelly that formed on their crotch areas. Well, those pools of sweat jelly were definitely washed away by a wave of crotch cream when Adrien Brody sashayed onto the carpet looking like sex double-wrapped in smarmy and dipped in Brut.

Adrien and his signature douche pucker were at the Emmys, because he was nominated for Houdini and also because kissing history-making actresses at award shows is his thing. As I said earlier, Olivia Culpo nearly fainted on the red carpet, and she claims the heat did her in. But I bet she really got the faints when Adrien Brody flipped his glorious mane as he walked on by. Adrian looked like the kind of high-priced gigolo who takes his old lady clients to the opera, fingers them in the box (that line has two meanings) and makes them smell his fingers afterward. Swooooooon.

Here’s a million pictures of some of the dudes (including Damian Lewis, Joe ManJello and David Oyelowo) at the Emmys, but who cares about any of them. The only thing your eyes need is Adrien Brody giving you “stache-free Yanni in a fun house mirror” hotness.

Pics: Wenn.com

Surprise! A Bunch Of Famous People Showed Up During Taylor Swift’s Show In LA Last Night

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Aug 23, 2015 at 1:56am PDT

Just like her last show, and the show before that, and she show before that, attention enthusiast Taylor Swift got herself a little extra attention this weekend by packing her 1989 tour shows in Los Angeles with tons of “surprise” guests. On Friday, Tay Tay was joined on stage by famous basketball person Kobe Bryant and car commercial band OneRepublic.

Then on Saturday, she brought out Mary J. Blige. According to People, Mary J. and Tay Tay sang Mary’s songs “Doubt” and “Family Affair” together. They would have sung “No More Drama“, but Taylor’s conscience wouldn’t let her (“Girl stop, you know you live for the drama“). She also brought out Uzo Aduba, but she’s done that before. I have no idea why Taylor keeps bringing out Crazy Eyes. Uzo, has Tay Tay kidnapped you? Blink once for yes.

For real though, is Taylor Swift contractually obligated to bring out a whole mess of guests on stage with her during her 1989 tour? Because if that’s the case, she’s eventually she’s going to run out of friends. Case in point, when she brought out Matt LeBlanc and Chris Rock last night.

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Aug 23, 2015 at 1:58am PDT

I know Taylor needs to fill her famous friends quota, but this is ridiculous. Not to mention that she was performing in Los Angeles, which means she had access to the finest buffet of last-minute fill-in talent to pick from. Why get Chris Rock and Joey Tribbiani when you could have Phoebe Price and Bai Ling? What am I saying – and risk being upstaged by their beauty? Taylor would never.

Here’s Tay Tay looking like Sugar & Shine Cupcake doll going through a bad-girl phase at the Staples Center on Friday night.

Pics: Splash

Matthew Perry And Matt LeBlanc Aren’t Mad About Not Being Invited To Jennifer Aniston’s Wedding

A little over 70 guests watched HISTORY BEING MADE when they witnessed the former president of the Forever Alone Club, Jennifer Aniston, marry an actual living and breathing man. On the guest list was Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Chelsea Handler, Uncle Terry, Lake Bell, Howard Stern, Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Jimmy Kimmel, Orlando, Bloom, Ellen DeGeneres, Portia de Rossi, Jason Bateman, Tobey Maguire, Whitney Cummings, Will Arnett and nearly every famous ho alive except for Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc. Jennifer Aniston needs to spend a long time in a class titled “Priorities: Learn How To Get Them Together” at the Learning Annex, because there’s something wrong when she invites Uncle Terry’s nasty smegma ass, but not Chandler and Joey, to her wedding.

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