Hot Slut Of The Day!
The scorching Los Angeles heat that nearly melted all of the delicate roses in gowns and tuxedos at the Emmys last night!
The quickest way to get alcohol poisoning last night was to do a pre-Emmy show drinking game where you took a shot of the sweet nectar every time one of those celeb whores bitched and moaned about how hot it was. Every time they went up to the Ursula’s polyp known as Giuliana Rancic, they went on about how they were baking alive in their clothes as Giuliana looked at them like, “Eh, when I sold my soul, I lost the ability to feel weather. So I’m doing fine!”
Yes, it was hotter than Satan’s cum load in L.A. yesterday, but many of them went on and on about how they didn’t know how they were going to make the impossible journey from their air-conditioned limo to the air-conditioned theater without dying from heatstroke. Lawrence of Arabia didn’t suffer 1/100th of the pain and struggles that the rich celebrities suffered through yesterday.
It got so hot that Olivia Culpo nearly passed out in the 100 degree heat, and the city released a douche fumes advisory when Mario Lopez sweat through his shirt. But thankfully, they all made it and they all survived!
Pic: Tumblr