You probably remember that back in May, the cast of Arrested Development sat down for an interview for The New York Times which ended with Jessica Walter in tears. She was trying to talk about Jeffrey Tambor being a rageaholic asshole to her on set, and Jason Bateman, Tony Hale, and David Cross were practically tripping over each other to rush to his defense. People were rightfully outraged. One such person was Thomas Sadoski. Now, before you start practicing your owl calls, I’ll remind you that he is Amanda Seyfried‘s husband. Apparently, Thomas rushed to Jessica’s defense on Instagram as soon as he heard about it, and read the boys for filth. But if an owl hoots in the woods and there’s nobody following him, does it even count? But I guess somebody must have seen it because Amanda claims that he recently lost out on a job because of it.
You would think being married to one of the founders and most vocal proponents of the Time’s Up movement might have some added benefits such as, helping you develop a more nuanced understanding of sexual politics in the workplace, or, how to craft a winning apology. But apparently that’s not how it works in the Tamblyn-Cross household. David Cross is taking heat for his participation in that New York Times interview with the cast of Arrested Development that should have been called “How To Sink A Show Before It Even Airs”.
When seven cast members of Arrested Development recently sat down with The New York Times for an interview about the upcoming fifth season, I’m sure they all thought they’d have a great time. (Ron Howard voice) They did not. Jason Bateman came to the defense of on-set jerk Jeffrey Tambor, and while doing so, he simultaneously took a hot cornballer shit all over Jessica Walter’s feelings.
Thanks to the fact that the temperature in L.A. was about as hot as a newly-released fart lingering in the Heat Miser’s chonies, everybody who went to the Emmys yesterday probably made squishy sounds when they walked because of the pools of sweat jelly that formed on their crotch areas. Well, those pools of sweat jelly were definitely washed away by a wave of crotch cream when Adrien Brody sashayed onto the carpet looking like sex double-wrapped in smarmy and dipped in Brut.
Adrien and his signature douche pucker were at the Emmys, because he was nominated for Houdini and also because kissing history-making actresses at award shows is his thing. As I said earlier, Olivia Culpo nearly fainted on the red carpet, and she claims the heat did her in. But I bet she really got the faints when Adrien Brody flipped his glorious mane as he walked on by. Adrian looked like the kind of high-priced gigolo who takes his old lady clients to the opera, fingers them in the box (that line has two meanings) and makes them smell his fingers afterward. Swooooooon.
Here’s a million pictures of some of the dudes (including Damian Lewis, Joe ManJello and David Oyelowo) at the Emmys, but who cares about any of them. The only thing your eyes need is Adrien Brody giving you “stache-free Yanni in a fun house mirror” hotness.
Tami Taylor’s like I’m just going to keep smiling and being beautiful and get away from her sullen ass as quickly as possible. That headline is a fallacy. Kristen Stewart actually SMILES in some of these pics. I think dating a woman (GOOGLE IT) has brought something out in her. Vagina is uplifting, soothing, and centering. Or so I’ve heard.
Here’s a mass of pics from the American Ultra premiere last night at the Ace Theater in LA. Jesse Eisenberg plays a government killing machine who’s been brainwashed to believe he’s a stoner convenience store clerk. The Funyons fly when he snaps out of it. KStew plays his girl. That must have been a fun set for co-star Connie Britton. Neither of those leads seem like the kind of people with whom you can joke around. Eisenberg seems like he’d be constantly concerned about his wig placement and always on the phone with his therapist.
You’ll also note that Stewart’s OTHER dude from Twilight, Taylor Lautner, was there. The male TayTay is looking slightly less pristine than usual. It’s possible he’s experiencing career misery. His next role is in Adam Sandler’s next pile of shit. That’s the movie that’s still in the production stages and has already offended Native Americans and Rose McGowan. That sort of gig probably sucks the Sean Cody right out of a guy’s look.
Check out the gallery below for more pics of Kristen and Connie Britton, as well as pics of Eisenberg, Lautner, Ashley Hinshaw, Topher Grace, someone named Johnny Deluca who I only included because he’s kind of cute and I’m shallow, Jason Ritter, John Leguizamo (and his kids), Rachel Roy, Tony Hale, Max Landis (who is obviously feeling ignored because he’s the screenwriter), and Into The Woods actor Billy Magnussen who is normally smokin’ hot but here looks like he’s done too much nitrous.