Rihanna Wants A Bunch Of Kids

March 31, 2020 / Posted by:

Music/make up/lingerie/skincare/fashion mogul Rihanna is British Vogue’s May cover girl. Because everything she touches makes herstory, RiRi wore a durag on the cover, a first for the magazine.

In the accompanying interview, 32-year-old Rihanna is asked about her ten year plan. Cure all disease? Build a galactic empire? Finally release that ninth album? Nope. Her answer was actually pretty standard. Have 3 to 4 kids! Guess she was inspired by her ex Drake’s recent child acknowledgment. Or not. She just ignored his thirsty ass on an Instagram Live Chat.

Rihanna, who recently broke up with that Saudi billionaire Hassan Jameel, and maybe fuck-rebounded with A$AP Rocky, says she doesn’t need a man to make a baby:

“I feel like society makes me want to feel like, ‘Oh, you got it wrong … ‘ They diminish you as a mother if there’s not a dad in your kids’ lives,” she explained. “But the only thing that matters is happiness — that’s the only healthy relationship between a parent and a child. That’s the only thing that can raise a child, truly, is love.”

Love is great, totally. But do you want to know what really helps a single mom? Cash money, babyyy! It pays nannies, wet nurses, and various service animals to care for your kids while you work, work, work, work, work. So, yeah, I think RiRi, whose Fenty Beauty is now worth $3 billion, will be OK without a pesky papa in the picture.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Rihanna article without the interviewer quoting her hit, “Please Don’t Stop the Music” (aka Where’s The Next Album, Please?):

“I can’t say when I’m going to drop,” she says (it could even be out by the time you read this). “But I am very aggressively working on music,” she adds, coyly.

What can we expect? “I don’t want my albums to feel like themes,” she says, taking a sip of wine. “There are no rules. There’s no format. There’s just good music, and if I feel it, I’m putting it out.”

Listen, the only way we’re getting new Rihanna music (that isn’t just a guest spot on a PARTYNEXTDOOR track) is if she pops out a fleet of children, they form a family band a la The Sound of Music, and produce their own album. “The Fenty Bloodline Sings Momma’s Hits!”

Pic: British Vogue/Steven Klein

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