Open Post: Hosted By Lindsay Lohan Falling On Her Sword To Save Christmas In The Trailer For Netflix’s “Falling For Christmas”
We may be careening towards complete societal collapse, but even if it’s our last, this Christmas is sure to be the best one yet thanks to Lindsay Lohan falling off a cliff in the trailer for her Netflix Christmas movie, Falling for Christmas. Last year we learned that The War on Christmas’ clumsiest warrior had pulled herself away from the recording studio, where she is still presumably putting the finishing touches on her long-awaited album that was supposed to usher in the 2019 Lohaniassance, to film FFC as well as a second rom-com for Netflix called Irish Wish, which will presumably come out just in time to save Saint Patrick’s day.
Kirk Cameron Once Again Violated California’s Coronavirus Lockdown Rules With A Christmas Caroling Event
Ugh. This moron again. Kirk Cameron, proud Christian Covidiot (a term my mom just discovered and LOVES), hosted another Christmas caroling event last night. Second one in a week. Most of the participants were not wearing masks, and it doesn’t look like many were social distancing. The gathering was once again held outside The Oaks mall in Thousand Oaks, California, right next to a COVID-19 testing center. How convenient. Kirk chose to throw this event despite (aka because of) California’s recent surge of coronavirus cases which left hospitals filled to capacity.
The GOP-led death cult continues apace, and just in time for Christmas, Kirk Cameron has decided to play the role of the Little Drummer Boy, drumming up a bunch of souls and leading them to meet their maker, but make it festive! According to TMZ, Kirk has taken the foot long out of his mouth long enough to organize a mass, unmasked Christmas caroling event under the guise of a peaceful protest “in response to govt tyrants telling us how to celebrate Christmas,” per Sing It Louder, the organization he is working with. No one’s gonna tell Kirk he can’t celebrate Christmas by spraying aerosolized coronavirus all over your Grandma with a pitchy rendition of Here Come Santa Claus. It’s a (novel) Cameron family tradition!
If there was ever any doubt about how clueless and unremorseful Roman Polanski is about his current situation as a wanted man, then his recent remarks about missing his pal and fellow disgraced shit-stain Harvey Weinstein over the holidays should really clue you in. Roman has been holed up in the swank, uber rich resort town of Gstaad, Switzerland. According to New York Daily News, Harvey usually makes a yearly pilgrimage there and does a private screening at the Palace Hotel. But this year he was a no show. I wonder why?