Open Post: Hosted By Lindsay Lohan Falling On Her Sword To Save Christmas In The Trailer For Netflix’s “Falling For Christmas”
We may be careening towards complete societal collapse, but even if it’s our last, this Christmas is sure to be the best one yet thanks to Lindsay Lohan falling off a cliff in the trailer for her Netflix Christmas movie, Falling for Christmas. Last year we learned that The War on Christmas’ clumsiest warrior had pulled herself away from the recording studio, where she is still presumably putting the finishing touches on her long-awaited album that was supposed to usher in the 2019 Lohaniassance, to film FFC as well as a second rom-com for Netflix called Irish Wish, which will presumably come out just in time to save Saint Patrick’s day.
It’s that time of year where the weather is getting chillier, Mariah Carey is raking in the cash, and we’re starting to drown in the deluge of made-for-TV holiday movies. And who better to make our Christmases bright and gay than Lindsay Lohan! In case you missed this earth-shattering news, Lindsay is back from her self-appointed exile in Europe and Dubai (we could only stay lucky for so long) and is slated to star in Netflix’s holiday-themed movie, “Untitled Holiday Rom-Com!” Yeah, they still haven’t named the thing, so you know it’s going to be film excellence.
Hermione Granger has a type, and it ain’t big wands – it’s cold, hard cash! Emma Watson spent the first part of 2018 secretly dating Chord Overstreet then breaking up with him…and then getting back with him. Alas, like most of the U.S., she got tired of Glee and went back to her reliable source of D: big-business brains! Emma was spotted out in Mexico kissing up on a dude who most certainly wasn’t Chord. Or the Beast from Beauty and the Beast.
One of the most random celebrity couples of our generation, Emma Watson and Chord Overstreet, reportedly broke up last month, thus leaving a giant, tragic hole where their unlikely pairing once lived. Only a couple months in, and their relationship status could be defined by the first four letters in Chord’s last name. But before you start tearing up at the reminder of this sad news, there’s been a new development, which is what Emma and Chord might never have broken up in the first place.
A source says that Emma and Chord were together for six months, but she decided to break it off. They really “hit it off” in the beginning, even though they kept quiet about it, and that they spent a lot of time in Los Angeles together. Emma clearly didn’t pull out her wizard wand and wish seriousum relationship long-termicus, because she reportedly called it off. The source says that things just “didn’t work out” between them.
Emma’s rep refused to comment when asked about the alleged breakup. But the source believes that Emma confirmed the split in what is probably the most 2018 millennial way of announcing you’re officially over someone: by unfollowing him on Instagram.
I’d say this is just the most tragic, terrible, heartbreaking news, but that wouldn’t be totally true. Because I believe every breakup has its silver lining. For Emma, she got to see how long she could handle dating a dude named “Chord.” For Chord, he can now proudly say: “Hey, I’m not just that guy from Glee. I’m also that guy who dated Emma Watson.”
The Daily Mail was blessed enough to get pictures of Emma Watson linking hands with and gazing longingly at rando second-tier Glee actor Chord Overstreet in L.A. on Thursday. This would seem to verify that he’s putting his Snape into her Horcrux. Shout-out to Emma’s Harry Potter stans!
Despite a source telling the Mail they weren’t a thing, a “besotted” Emma’s face intheir photographic essay (“Emma and Chord: A Walk“) would beg to differ. “Besotted!” That means the D is passing muster and then some.
Clearly close, they smiled at one another, with Emma looking besotted as she leant her head towards Chord.
Emma and Chord attended Vanity Fair’s Oscar Party together last weekend, and a source told Page Six that they’re taking it slow. Emma’s obviously busy with her film career and Chord is probably equally busy…looking blond and pouty?
You might be wondering what the hell Emma Watson is doing with a Glee dude who is only memorable for a name that sounds like a line of snooty men’s footwear? Well, the heart wants what the heart wants. Emma seems like a nice, bright girl who refuses to accept a publicist probably urging her not to date below her celebrity stratum. Plus, everyone talking about which dude she’s on leads us further and further away from her and her temporary tattoo artist’s grammatical error.
PICTURE EXCLUSIVE Emma Watson holds hands with Glee's Chord Overstreet as pair go public with their romance https://t.co/pk0L1mbhNd
— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) March 9, 2018