Category: Katherine Heigl

Katherine Heigl Apologizes For Being Insensitive Of Dead People

June 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Katherine Heigl has not had any good press in years. Like EONS. It could be because, like Ginger Spice before her, Katherine got too big-headed for her own good and sent her once-promising career in the opposite direction by making some questionable choices. Once again, she’s busy apologizing for a dumb choice she made.

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The Razzie Nominations Are Here, And It’s A “mother!” Of A Line-Up

January 22, 2018 / Posted by:

You could just tell from Darren Aronofsky’s rambling on and on and on and…you get the idea…about his twisted Sunday School of a movie, mother!, that he just KNEW he was going to spend the night of the Oscars collecting statue after statue and rubbing shoulders with Meryl Streep. Instead, he’ll get the chance to maybe be the muse for James Franco’s next movie about a turd of a movie (well, if he’s even allowed to make movies again). That’s right, the 38th annual Golden Raspberry Awards nominees were released today, and it looks like those Fifty Shades Of Shit movies have some competition from mother!. Continue reading

Katherine Heigl Just Can’t Catch A Break

February 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Katherine Heigl just can’t seem to retrieve her career from the kitty litter box. It seems like it was only yesterday on Grey’s Anatomy that she was killing Jeffrey Dean Morgan so he could get his heart transplant, but he died anyway and everyone loved her. But then she pissed on her own hit movie, pissed on her own hit TV show, and generally acted like a cooze. Now Katherine can barely get a sad tv legal drama past the premiere.

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If It Wasn’t For John Mayer, Katherine Heigl Wouldn’t Be Married To Her Husband, Or Something

February 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Katherine Heigl’s latest comeback TV show, Doubt, premiered last night on CBS, and if you missed it and want to see it, it can be found in a box full of Cat’s Pride litter. It flopped.

But before Heigl learned that she may have another flop on her hands, she pushed Doubt on The Late Late Show with James Corden. Heigl and her husband, Josh Kelley, have been married for almost ten years and James Corden said that he heard (through her publicist, probably) that John Mayer had something to do with their love sprouting like a rash you get after fucking John Mayer.

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Katherine Heigl Had A Secret Baby Almost A Month Ago

January 17, 2017 / Posted by:

It felt like Katherine Heigl was pregnant for way longer than the average woman is pregnant. Now we know that she did give birth, it just happened last month. Oh well, that extra time was probably appreciated by Katherine’s biggest fan Shonda Rhimes, who used that additional month to put together a really nice gift basket to go with the card she sent that says: “Good luck kid, xoxo Aunty Shondie.

A rep for Katherine and her husband Josh Kelley confirmed the news to People that she gave birth to their third child on December 20th. She had a little boy that they named Joshua Bishop Kelley Jr. Josh Jr. joins a group of celebrity kids who I hope one day write a tell-all, which includes Katherine and Josh’s adopted daughters, 8-year-old Naleigh Moon and 4-year-old Adelaide Marie Hope.

I have no idea why Katherine decided to keep the birth of Josh Jr. a secret for so long. I know Katherine Heigl isn’t getting those front-page People covers anymore, but she does have a blog. I guess I just assumed she would have announced Baby Josh Jr.s birth there (she only talked about the baby shower, which sort of looked like a fancy retirement party for a rich lady florist). Maybe she’s waiting to debut Baby Josh Jr. in her next kitty litter commercial. It would be the purrrrfect tie-in for a litter designed specifically for kittens.

Pic: Wenn.com

Dear Katherine Heigl: Seth Rogen Doesn’t Hate You

August 9, 2016 / Posted by:

As most of us already know, Katherine Heigl took a flamethrower to the bridges connected to Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow shortly after the release of Knocked Up in 2007. Katherine accused Knocked Up of being “sexist,” among other things. Ever since then, she’s tried to apologize for crapping all over Knocked Up. Most recently, Katherine dabbed at her teary eyes on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show. Katherine claimed that when she ran into Seth and Judd at a restaurant, she tried to talk to them, but they treated her like a long pube in their sandwich. Katherine said she’d love to work with Seth again, but doesn’t think that will ever happen since he hates her. Well, Seth Rogen has something to say about that. And according to him, it’s not like that. He doesn’t hate you, Heigl.

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