Here’s some news you can use the next time you’re on a FaceTime call with the Riverdale-obsessed teenager in your life. Although to be fair, I’m sure there’s some Riverdale-obsessed adults out there who have also been shaken by this recent drama. Or should I say, severe lack of drama. I’m sure Cole Sprouse would prefer I word it that way, because according to Cole, there is no sneaky two-timing going on.
E! News reports that the internet started to get a little suspicious of Cole Sprouse’s coronavirus lockdown activity. According to his fans, 27-year-old Cole (aka Jughead on Riverdale) might not have been sheltering in place with his current girlfriend, 23-year-old Lili Reinhart (aka Betty on Riverdale). Lili has been active on social media throughout the quarantine, and she sort of hinted that her only isolation partner is her dog.
Internet sleuths then believed to have discovered proof that something was up, after investigating recent Instagram posts made by 18-year-old Kaia Gerber, and determining that she might be locked down in Cole’s house. Despite the fact that it’s pretty clear Kaia is isolating at her home in Malibu. But according to internet rumors, Cole and Lili have broken up again, and he’s rebounding, quarantine-style, with Cindy’s kid.
Whatever scandalous theory the internet had cooked up, it wasn’t exactly headline news. Still, Cole decided to make it his business and set the record straight on the status of his relationship. Cole hopped into his Instagram Stories to deny the accusation that he’s two-timing Lili, and added that their relationship is perfectly fine. He didn’t have to do that, but a public denial of break-up rumors is Cole and Lili’s brand at this point.
Cole also slapped at any of the “clowns” who decided to post Cole’s personal information, like his home address, or those who were firing off death threats. To those people and those people only, Cole would kindly like you to – ahem – “please eat my delectable plump ass.”
so, in conclusion, stan cole sprouse 😌 pic.twitter.com/OIeAKP5G8t
— rawdha, v's support system 💧 (@prfctnext) April 20, 2020
Lili hasn’t responded to any of this mess, and neither has Kaia. And the bad news for them is that I’m afraid this situation might not be over as quickly as Cole would like. Cole’s most obsessively dedicated fans have major boundary issues, and he went ahead and invited those same people to come and eat his ass. Cole’s security camera has probably been alerting him all day to people standing at the gate with a plastic lobster bib on, announcing that they’re here for the all-you-can-eat ass buffet.