Category: Jennifer Aniston
Open Post: Hosted By Jake Gyllenhaal’s Old Crush On Jennifer Aniston, Which Made Their “Good Girl” Sex Scenes Torturous
Remember the movie The Good Girl from 2002? It was Jennifer Aniston’s pre-Cake stab at Oscar gold. She played a sad Southern woman who works at a big-box store and has a steamy affair with a younger cashier, played by Jake Gyllenhaal. Well, this week Jake went on Howard Stern’s Sirius XM show and admitted that filming love scenes with Jen was “torture” because he had a big ol’ crush on her. At the time Jen was married to Brad Pitt, so she probably wasn’t gonna fuck that shit up by having an affair with a younger co-star. Nope, that’s Brad’s thing!
David Schwimmer Denies That He And Jennifer Aniston Have Something Going On
Friends fans were given the type of internet rumor this week that probably caused them to faint, cry, reach for a brown paper bag to breathe into, or shriek, “HE REALLY IS HER LOBSTER!“. A few months after admitting on HBO’s Friends reunion special that they both had crushes on each other while filming, UK tabloid Closer claimed that Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer had finally gotten together in real life. So I guess David Schwimmer got vaccinated then. But David Schwimmer himself denies it.
Jennifer Aniston Further Explains Why She Dropped People In Her Life Who Aren’t Vaccinated
Earlier this week, we learned that if Jennifer Aniston was living her life by the lyrics of the Friends theme, then the chorus of “I’ll be there for you” came with one post-pandemic condition, and that’s that Jennifer will be there for you, so long as you’ve gotten the COVID-19 vaccine. Jennifer explained to InStyle that she had to lose a couple of people from her orbit who wouldn’t disclose whether they got the vaccine, as well as the ones who are anti-vaxx. There might have been a few people who thought that was way harsh, Jen. But she’s fully standing by her choice to roll with a vaxxed-only crowd from here on out.
Jennifer Aniston Cut People Out Of Her Life For Not Being Vaccinated
Well, it looks like there are a few people who USED to be a part of Jennifer Aniston’s life and will no longer get an annual holiday basket filled with Aveeno stuff, SmartWater, tubs of VitalProteins, bottles of J by Jennifer Aniston, leftover Friends Reunion merch that nobody bought, and a letter reminding them all to not believe the tabloids and no, she isn’t pregnant with triplets she plans to name Brad One, Brad Two, and Brad Three. Because just like the entire city of New York, you gotta display (your vax card) to play with Jennifer Aniston. She told InStyle that she’s dumped anti-vaxxers in her life who don’t have the vaccine running through their veins. “Oh, so that’s why Jen won’t return my DMs about begging Adam Sandler to put me in Murder Mystery 2 and not because she completely forgot I exist like the rest of Hollywood,” thought noted anti-vaxxer, Rob Schneider.
Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Aniston’s TikTok Doppelgänger
Fortunately, the legit Jennifer Aniston is “in a really peaceful place“ these days, so seeing someone who looks jarringly like her Rachel Green self in Friends and lip-syncing her whiny pout about a crappy fashion job in the third season, won’t weird her out one bit.
That lookalike someone is TikTok user Lisa Tranel, who must get stopped enough for autographs on the street (and screeched at by overly invested Friends fans screaming at her for choosing annoying AF Ross over her Paris career move) to have included “Not Jennifer Aniston” in her TikTok profile.
Jennifer Aniston Update: She’s In A Peaceful Place!
Excuse me, she’s in a really peaceful place. Where is this really peaceful place that Jennifer Aniston is currently chilling out in, you may ask? I would assume the coordinates of said place would be: latitude 22.890533, longitude -109.916740, aka the GPS location of Cabo San Lucas. Despite the swimsuit, this isn’t an episode of Where in Mexico is Jennifer Aniston? (although she does look as good in red as Carmen Sandiego). Jennifer Aniston is talking metaphorically. As in, tabloids can officially stop printing headlines about sad, lonely, heartbroken, waiting-by-the-phone-for-Brad, pillow-covered-in-tears Jen, because she’s very content in her life at the moment.