That pun was very much intended.
Miranda Lambert is a mess, we know this, and she’s probably the type who won’t think twice about wasting beer by throwing hers at you during a fight at an Applebee’s. That’s kind of what happened on Sunday night, but instead of throwing a beer, she threw a salad (RIP that salad) at a steakhouse. And for Miranda’s sake I hope it was something messy like a Cobb salad with extra steak and dressing.
Here’s how it all went down, according to TMZ. Miranda, her mother and a family friend were out enjoying themselves at Stoney River Steakhouse in Nashville. The family friend, an unidentified male, went to use the restroom leaving Miranda and her mother to enjoy conversation and juicy flavored meat. Inside the restroom, another older man approached Miranda’s friend and made an off-color remark about millennials and their phones, which prompted the two of them to get into some kind of heated verbal exchange. Now, some people enjoy a little small talk in the bathroom but if you’re not into that it’s weird and you deserve whatever happens next. After Miranda’s friend came back to the table to inform them about the weird old guy from the restroom… BAM! Instantly the weird guy appeared out of nowhere and began screaming at everyone. And this is when Miranda Lambert transformed into a zero-fucks-giving salad tosser (not like that).
In an attempt to defend her friend, Miranda started arguing with the older man and had become so angered that she had to be held back from kicking his ass. However, Miranda decided to go the classier route, because who wants to deal with lawsuits from beatdowns at steakhouses? Instead she brought the drama to the man’s wife. Miranda walked over to her, got all up in her face and then dumped a salad into the wife’s lap. You’d think Miranda would have followed that up with a drink to the face while asking “You thirsty bitch?” but that didn’t happen. Because after the authorities were called, Miranda and her gang escaped to their getaway car and sped off before the cops arrived.
TMZ reached out to both Miranda’s rep and Stoney River’s corporate office, and didn’t hear back from either. It’s not expected that charges will be filed against Miranda.
The moral to this story kids is that Miranda Lambert is not the one when it comes to disrespecting her family and friends. You better step light around her because she’s like one of the X-Men of country music and her super power is taking everyday items and turning them into weapons. Let’s just be thankful this shit didn’t go down at a gun show. You can now add “salad” to the list of things that Miranda wrecks. Right under “homes” of course!