Category: Here We Go Again
Julie Delpy Says Women Have It The Worst In Hollywood (UPDATE)
Since Charlotte Rampling is doing the slow two-step away from her recent comments that this year’s Oscar boycott is racist against white people (comments she now says were “misinterpreted” and that what she really meant to say was that “Diversity in our industry is an important issue that needs to be addressed“), French actress Julie Delpy has decided to step into this mess and pick up where she left off. Except Julie didn’t need to borrow any notes from Charlotte, because her position is less about race and more about having a vagina.
Chris Brown Has Been Accused Of Punching A Woman In Las Vegas
I don’t know if the Guinness people keep track of this kind of thing, but surely this is some kind of world record. Less than 48 hours into the new year, and already we have our first “Chris Brown went Chris Brown on someone” story of 2016. According to TMZ, a woman named Liziane Gutierrez is claiming that Chris Brown punched her in the face during a private party in his suite at the Palms in Las Vegas early this morning. Chris was in Las Vegas for a performance at Drai’s last night.
Liziane Gutierrez says it happened after she tried to take a picture of him. Apparently she was able to sneak her cellphone into the party without his security team noticing, so she decided to take a picture. Why you would want a picture of Chris Brown’s face, I don’t know. But she did, and and once he noticed she had taken a picture, he allegedly started screaming at her and punched her once in her right eye.
TMZ says Liziane left the party and called the police, but she wasn’t taken to the hospital. The police tell TMZ they’re currently investigating this mess, and confirm that Chris Brown is the suspect. A rep for Chris Brown says the allegations are “undeniably untrue.”
All of this is still in the ‘alleged’ stage right now, so not too many details are known. But one thing we do know for sure is this: that Chris Brown’s sober companion Scott Disick is doing a shitty fucking job of keeping his ass out of trouble.
Here’s Chris Brown looking like the long-lost member of The Midnight Society a few hours before it allegedly all went down.
Guess What Happened To Jimmy Fall Last Night?
I’m going to give you three guesses as to why we’re talking about Jimmy Fallon today:
1. He accidentally busted something
2. He accidentally busted something
3. He accidentally busted something
If you answered “…yeah, and was booze involved?“, you’d be correct! Jimmy Fallon, seen above in some truly lazy Jolly Green Giant cosplay, fell down and busted one of his fingers at Harvard University on Saturday night. Jimmy was being honored by the Harvard Lampoon, and People says it happened while they were celebrating in the street. According to a source, Jimmy was holding a bottle of Jaegermeister and he tripped over a random girl who was kneeling down in front of him. There you have it; further proof that Jaegermeister will always fuck you up.
After Jimmy ate shit in the street, he hauled ass to Massachusetts General Hospital and got his busted finger fixed up. And then shortly after that, he posted a picture of it on Instagram.
That’s not that bad. I mean, it’s certainly not as bad as the time he broke his front tooth on a tube of scar tissue gel. And it’s definitely not as bad as the time he slipped on a rug and almost tore his finger off. And no, I’m not talking about the severity of his injury; I’m talking about the reason why it happened. “Tripped over a random girl (totally random, no idea, never met her) who was kneeling in front of him while holding (not drinking, just holding, probably for a friend) a bottle of Jaeger” isn’t nearly the worst excuse he’s come up with. Yes, I’m looking at you, broke a tooth on a tube of scar tissue gel excuse.
This is Jimmy’s third trip to the hospital in four months. Forget a Harvard Lampoon award, can we get Jimmy fitted for a bubble suit or something? At the very least, give him a set of foam Hulk hands. Jimmy, you need to stop breaking shit in your hands!
Pics: Jimmy Fallon
Madonna And Sean Penn Might Be Boning Like It’s The 80s Again
The nursery that is growing and raising Madonna’s future boy toys is probably freaking out, because if she’s doing old dudes now, their business is ruined forever!
The greasy nutsack with a face that is Sean Penn has shown up to Madge’s Rebel Fart tour in NYC and Vancouver. And at her Brooklyn show, she told the audience that her ex-husband wrote her a nice note telling her that he finally appreciates her art. Well, either Radar took those little facts and ran them through the FanFiction machine to create this story or Madge’s snatch has really reunited with Sean Penn’s dick.
Radar claims that 26 years after they got divorced, Sean and Madge are fucking again. Sean and Madge apparently stayed at the same hotel in Vancouver and he plans to join her tour through California so he can get him some of her muscled-up coochie as much as possible. The source also says that there’s a chance he could travel with her as she tours Europe.
Insiders told Radar their tour of love will continue this fall, as Penn was booked into the same hotel as the pop queen for her stays in Vancouver on October 16. He’s expected to follow her to Los Angeles for the latest leg of her world tour. And they could even fly together to Europe on October 29, said a source.
If this is true, then when Sean Penn goes to Madonna’s hotel room to rub down low parts with her, he probably wonders why he has to go through a metal detector and why her security pats him down to make sure the bat in his pants isn’t an actual bat and why there’s no chairs in her room. I wonder why? And when is the FDA going to declare Sean Penn’s dick one of the most dangerous and addictive street drugs in the country? Screw heroin, coke and Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Sean Penn’s dick is more addictive and dangerous than all of them. As soon as Sean sticks the tip in, the chick he’s screwing is so dickmatized that she doesn’t realize she’s doing Sean Penn. Where is Nancy Reagan to warn us of the dangers of Sean Penn’s dick?
And here’s Sean going to Freida Pinto’s birthday party in West Hollywood last night. Not you too, Freida! Get into rehab before it’s too late!
Pics: Splash
ICYMI: Adele Announced Her Return With A 30-Second Clip And I’m Sure She’s Already Won A Dozen Grammys For It
And if she hasn’t, then expect the Grammy bitches to announce that they’ve moved up the ceremony from February to tomorrow so they can give Adele all the Grammys for this snippet of her new song.
Last night during a commercial break for The X-Factor in the UK, Adele’s haunting nightingale voice sang as the lyrics of what I’m guessing is the first single of her next album were displayed on the screen. Adele’s third album is supposed to come out in November and this is the first preview of her new music. The lyrics go like this and the first part sounds like something you’d write to a trick on Tinder after they didn’t answer your first message:
Hello/It’s me/I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet/To go over everything.
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya/But I ain’t done much healing
If you haven’t filled your ears with the clip of the song that will play during every damn Shonda Rhimes show, it’s below. But a little warning: It’s Adele, so this little clip will make you want to grab a mug of tea and walk to the window where you’ll watch the leaves fall while softly crying to yourself. Adele truly knows her seasons, because she is ALL Fall and Winter.
And after hearing that first word, Lionel Ritchie should call his attorneys.
via Vulture
Xander From Buffy Got Arrested Again
Yes, Nicholas Brendon, aka Xander from Buffy, got arrested again, but this time it wasn’t for being a drunk mess at a Comic-Con. It’s actually for something a lot more sad. According to People, Nicholas Brendon was arrested on Wednesday night in Saratoga Springs, New York for choking out his girlfriend. Giles, drop whatever dusty book you’re reading and come get Xander.
Saratoga Springs police say they got a call around 11:30pm on Wednesday night about a domestic at a motel. When they arrived, they found a 33-year-old woman who said Nicholas got into it with her shortly after she tried to drop off some of his shit. She claims that when she tried to leave, Xander grabbed her car keys and smashed her phone. Then he got all ragey and allegedly started choking her before fleeing the scene. People says he was found a few blocks away and was arrested. UsWeekly adds that police told them “alcohol was involved” in the incident.
Nicholas Brendon has been charged with two counts of criminal mischief, one count of obstruction of breathing (which is the fancy law way of saying choking someone, I guess), and robbery in the third degree.
In case you’re keeping a tally, this is Nicholas Brendon’s fourth arrest in the past 12 months. The last time we heard from him, he had checked himself into rehab and was asking TV doctors to help him battle his demons. But as any of you who watch Dr. Phil know (not that that’s something you’d admit to, I know), Nicholas recently slapped at one of the hands trying to help him out by walking off a recent episode. So…he’s in a pretty shitty place. Once again, Giles – please come get Xander. Or anyone, really. At this point, I’d be ok with Dawn. Dawn, make yourself useful and come get Xander.