Good news for lovers of soggy Cheetos and sodium headaches! KFC will be offering a new menu item featuring everybody’s favorite weird dick-shaped snack, the Cheeto. According to Eater, beginning July 1 and for a limited time, KFC will be offering a Cheetos sandwich that will be available nationwide. However, those few Americans lucky enough to live in New York City (or willing to travel) will have the opportunity to sample an entire pop-menu of KFC by Cheeto foods, but you have to act fast. The pop-up “event” is one day only. Reservations are recommended if you want VIP access which I guess means bottle service and a lap dance from Chester Cheetah.
Just in time for summer is the only craft ale that matters and the last one that should ever be made (can’t we just survive on Hamms and PBR tallboys and call the craft beer thing done already?). A brewery has been selling unauthorized Guns N’ Rosé ale and Axl Rose, Slash and the rest of Guns N’ Roses are not happy about it. The band is pissed, but this is a good thing, because finally rosé has that edge its soft reputation so desperately needed and GNR has the opportunity to soften their tarnished image as well. This could be a very symbiotic whale and barnacle situation, but GNR won’t let it be great and has filed a lawsuit against the brewery. I’m calling it now: Guns N’ Rosé is the BYOB of summer but you better get your hands on it fast before GNR has it pulled from shelves and the band dog piles on top of it (with Axl on the top so you can’t get a slippery grip on any cans).
New Orleans is a beautiful city filled with amazing culture and great food. Oh yes, and drunks. Lots and lots of drunks. And today is Fat Tuesday (government name: Mardi Gras) which has long been a holiday celebrated by party goers looking to infinitely imbibe until they pass out, throw up, or both. Well, Popeyes has decided to up the class factor by revealing a one-day-only item exclusively for Mardi Gras: A beadbox necklace to hold your chicken while pushing through large crowds of belligerent, intoxicated messes.
Whoever said dreams never come true needs to be slapped across the face with a stale burrito. Because Taco Bell Canada has decided to spice up everyone’s life by constructing a billboard that dispenses golden showers of delicious, gooey nacho cheese. I’m sure you’ll all agree with me when I say fuck running for the border! I’m about to make a run for the mountains ‘Eh!
Highly Important Royal Wedding Update: Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Have Chosen Their Cake Flavor!
Every wedding invitation should provide guests with all the important details, like the date, the time, the address, and more importantly, what kind of cake are they going to serve at the reception. Nowadays all these Pinterest brides and grooms think it’s cute to ditch cake and serve lavender bread pudding in a mason jar. It’s not cute. It’s wrong. If you ain’t going to have cake, you ain’t going to see me. I am not going to suffocate in the too-small ASOS suit I wear to every wedding in order to not eat cake (I’m talking to your hateful ass, Natalie Portman.) So I appreciate that Kensington Palace delivered an important royal wedding update on the only thing that matters: THE CAKE!
Adele’s album 25 Trillion Sold And Counting missed the Grammys nomination eligibility cut-off for 2015, so next year will be its year. Expect the 2017 Grammys to be one long Adele appreciation ceremony where Adele will host, produce, sing in every performance, win every category and the In Memoriam section will be filled with everybody who released an album in 2016 since her sales killed them all. Last night, Adele gave a little preview of next year’s Grammys by performing “All I Ask” and it was an off-key and technical mess.