The Fashion At The Country Music Awards Wasn’t Rhinestoney Enough

November 15, 2018 / Posted by:

These country music stars are just not wilin’ out like they used to. This year’s red carpet at the Country Music Association Awards was tamer ‘enna a mule caught a nibblin’ in the marijuana patch. In fact, the only person on the red carpet to go full Nudie was the yodeling Walmart kid, who I guess is country famous now. You know, I yodeled in a Walmart once and never got invited to the CMAs. Of course I was yodeling through there with a quickness and headed straight for the bathroom; road-trip coffee diarrhea is nothing to joke about. For the most part, the ladies kept it simple with selections from the Gunne Sax prom collection, and the gentleman chose one or two items from the Sheplers catalog and paired them with black jeans. Of course, there were a few stand-out looks.

Above is a very pregnant Carrie Underwood who announced on-air that she was having a boy. At that time Carrie was wearing a bubble wrap dress that her co-host Brad Paisley gave her as a joke referencing her face-obliterating fall two years ago. In the picture above, Carrie is wearing some sort of winged satin bed sheet number while performing a song called “Love Wins” while surrounded by a multi-ethnic chorus who had rehearsal at a paintball arena. I think it’s supposed to convey some sort of “hands across the aisle” message. But Carrie’s colorful sleeves are very carefully not exactly rainbow colored. It suggests tolerance, but let’s not get too carried away (pun not intended, I swear).

Speaking of subtle political messages, here’s (check’s notes, gets lost in a sea of Codys, Coles and McKenzies) RaeLynn giving her interpretation of I’m With Kap. That has to be a Nike swoosh, right? Otherwise, what, where, why, who? It kind of reminds me of a nice, thin slice of lardo. I hope she brought some crostini to share.

Here’s my favorite new super group comprised of Anthony Kiedis, the reanimated corpse of Barry Gibb, and the witch that brought him back to life. They are calling themselves Midland. If you want to book them, simply wave your talking stick high in the air, click your snakeskin heels together twice (crocodile or ostrich will also work), say “turquoise” backwards and they will magically appear.

Here are some of the other looks from last night’s CMA awards.


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