Category: Brangelina
Justin Theroux Said A Few Words About The Fall Of Brangelina
Justin Theroux has started doing promo for The Girl On The Train and so we should expect that every interview he does will start with the question, “The Girl On The Train is about a girl on a train and Angelina Jolie is a girl and I’m sure she’s been on a train before, so what do you think about her dumping Brad and can you even hear this question since I’m sure your eardrums burst from the sound barrier-breaking laugh that Jennifer Aniston let out over the news?” Business Insider asked Jennifer Aniston’s hot hipster piece about the breakup of our modern day Adam and Eve and he said that his heart feels for the child army and saying anything other than that is yawn worthy.
Brad Pitt Probably Won’t Be Prosecuted For That Alleged Plane Fight
Last week we learned that Brad Pitt was being investigated for child abuse after an anonymous complaint was made almost two weeks ago claiming that a beyond-drunk Brad had gotten abusive with 15-year-old Maddox Jolie-Pitt during a fight with Angelina Jolie on their private jet. A source close to Brad claimed that it was nothing more than just a tipsy parent-child argument that escalated. The details of what happened were all a little murky. Apparently the people investigating the situation think so too.
Brad Pitt Got Himself A Divorce Lawyer And Will Fight For Joint Custody
Why do I have a feeling that during Brad Pitt’s first meeting with his divorce lawyer, his lawyer said, “Okay, champ, I just want to make it clear that by ‘joint custody’ we’re not talking about custody of your joints and blunts. I’m sure you’ll get full custody of those in the divorce. We’re talking about the children.” And yes, in my mind, every dude divorce lawyer calls his client “champ.”
It was rumored that Brad Pitt was not going to just let Angelina Jolie have full physical custody of their 6 children. Brad reportedly wants 50/50 physical custody, and isn’t going to settle for “visitation rights.” USA Today says that Brad Pitt has hired big Hollywood divorce lawyer Lance Spiegel to fight for him and go up against Angelina Jolie’s lawyer, the Legal Queen of Hollywood Divorces Laura Wasser. TMZ says that Brad will 100% fight for joint physical custody and sources say that he will argue that he is not a threat to the child army in any way.
“A Source Close To Brad Pitt” Tell His Side Of The Alleged Plane Fight
Brad Pitt hasn’t released any kind of statement about the accusation that he went all Daddie Dearest on a private jet and he may not anytime soon. Lainey is hearing that he’s afraid that anything he says may come back to kick him in the b-hole, because there may be other stories and receipts coming out. But Brad doesn’t have to talk since a source close to him is talking to People, and I refuse to believe the source is Jacques Jolie-Pitt.
And It’s Getting A Lot Messier: Brad Pitt Is Being Investigated For Child Abuse (UPDATE: The FBI Reportedly Has The Case)
Well, now the Brangelina divorce drama has gone from rumors about Brad Pitt being a mean stoner and passing his wandering fondue-covered peen to Marion Cotillard and Russian whores, and has made sharp turn into the muddy, shit-covered roads of Johnny Depp/Amber Heard territory. But instead of Brad being accused of abusing Angelina Jolie, he’s being accused of verbally and physically abusing his children.
Marion Cotillard Is Pregnant And Isn’t “Distressed” About The Brad Pitt Rumors
I didn’t think she would, but Marion Cotillard has decided to drop a farté (that’s French for fart, right?) on the rumors that she boned Brad Pitt while shooting Allied and that she’s got a Pitt baby growing in her womb. Marion did confirm in an Instagram post that she’s knocked up, but said that the father of her second baby is her piece of 9 years Guillaume Canet. The Daily Mail said that Marion was “distressed” about the rumor, but she says she really doesn’t give one fuck and left a special note for the “haters.” Yes, today I learned that Oscar-winner Marion Cotillard uses the word “haters” and is serious when she uses it.