Category: Armie Hammer
Armie Hammer Denies Branding An Ex-Girlfriend
In the last horrific, abuse-laden chapter of the Carnivore Chronicles From Hell, we learned that alleged rib connoisseur and archenemy of PETA, Armie Hammer, 34, was accused by a second ex-girlfriend, Paige Lorenze, of firming up plans to put his loaded BBQ sauce shelf to use by smoking and feasting on her superfluous bottom ribs. Today’s entry graces us with the tale of yet more abusive, horrific garbage. Paige, 22, shared that Armie had carved a letter “A” into her skin and then proceeded to taste the blood. It gets graphic, kids.
Another Armie Hammer Ex Says He Wanted To Find A Doctor Who Would Remove Her Ribs For Him To Eat
Pull out that BBQ bib you keep in the bottom drawer because it’s about to get messy. Well, messier. As I’m sure you’ll never forget no matter how hard you try, Armie Hammer has been accused of tons of abuse and harboring cannibalistic fantasies which included allegedly telling a woman he was dating, Courtney Vucekovich, that he wanted to cook and eat her ribs. Now a second ex of Armie’s, Paige Lorenze, has come forward with a similar claim which includes the gory details of how exactly he planned to execute his plan.
Josh Duhamel Might Replace Armie Hammer In “Shotgun Wedding”
About six seconds after Armie Hammer’s stomach-turning, human-eating, safeword-ignoring alleged DMs leaked, Armie claimed that he needed to protect his family from the drama and accusations, and dropped out of the upcoming film, Shotgun Wedding. Armie was supposed to star alongside Jennifer Lopez, but according to Armie, he just couldn’t dream of leaving his two children for 4 months of filming (even though family time doesn’t exactly appear to be his top priority at the moment). Obviously, they needed to replace Armie, and clearly, Christopher Plummer was unavailable because word on the street is that Josh Duhamel is in talks to step into the role left vacant by Hollywood’s current PR nightmare.
Armie Hammer Apologized For Saying The Woman In His Instagram Video Is Miss Cayman
I know. You read that headline about Armie Hammer apologizing and thought, “Finally! Someone on his team forced him to act sorry!” Err, kiiiind of, but not really. Armie Hammer still hasn’t confessed to any of his alleged abuse or cannibal DMs, which he referred to as “bullshit claims”. He just responded to his recent Miss Cayman Island organization controversy. Because beauty pageant > his alleged victims.
Armie Hammer’s Secret Instagram Features A Woman In Lingerie And Drug Tests
Most of us are on fuckery overload at this point, and feeling very let down by 2021 for not giving our eyes and brains anywhere safe to land. I’m pretty sure Hilaria Baldwin is contortionist-heaving a sigh of relief in well-practiced Spanish this week, as her messy Boston-Mallorca escándalo has taken a back seat to the fava-beans-and-nice-Chianti dumpster fire that launched Armie Hammer, his distant, dead-eyed stare, and The Abuse Allegations That Made You Want to Wrap Your Sauceless Rib Cage in Chain Mail to the front of the line.
After the alleged, twisted mentions of drinking blood, killing an animal to eat its heart and taking what appeared to be initially consensual sex acts with women he called “Kittens” to peak levels of abuse, we’re all getting caught up on way more than we’d bargained for when considering just what degree of hot mess may have contributed to his divorce in progress from his wife Elizabeth Chambers, not to mention his departure, whether voluntary or not, from Shotgun Wedding with Jennifer Lopez.
Today’s installment introduces a woman in lingerie on all fours in Armie’s Cayman Islands hotel room on his private Instagram account, interspersed with refined and classy drug-testing and drunk-driving chatter.
Despite Claims He Wants To Spend Time With His Kids, Reports Say Armie Hammer Refuses To See His Family
OK, I’m gonna try to get through this whole post without any cannibal references. Let’s see what happens! So, actor and alleged canni– errr… creepy dude, Armie Hammer, broke his silence earlier this week about those cannibal extremely disturbing DMs. Armie said, “I’m not responding to these bullshit claims”, adding that he was the one to leave Jennifer Lopez’s movie, Shotgun Wedding, all so he could stay with his kids in the Cayman Islands during this difficult time. Uh-huh. So, all those rumors about him being fired are total pinky toe baloney.
Well, today a source told the Sun that Armie hasn’t actually seen his family in days. He’s only communicating with estranged wife Elizabeth Chambers through their lawyers, and nobody knows his exact whereabouts. Have they checked the dumpster behind the morgue? Ugh, my apologies. Another dollar in the cannibal jar…