Category: 2021 Oscars
Random Couple Alert: Paulina Porizkova And Aaron Sorkin Are Apparently Together
The Random Couple Generator has been hard at work this week. First, it spit out the names Rita Ora and Taika Waititi (couple name: TitiOra), and now it has spit out the names Paulina Porizkova and Aaron Sorkin (couple name: PorKin). It’s only April but it looks like Closer Magazine may have an IT couple of 2021 because Page Six claims that Paulina Porizkova is humping on Aaron Sorkin and that they’re going to make their public debut at tomorrow night’s Oscars. If Aaron’s doctor hasn’t called him already, they will and they’ll say, “Aaron, I need you to come in right the fuck away, because I just read that you’re doing a 56-year-old woman and a rich and powerful Hollywood dude’s dick should not work for a woman over the age of 25! That’s not healthy. I’m sending in Leonardo DiCaprio. This is an emergency!”
No One Will Be Forced To Wear A Mask At The Oscars
Last year, the 92nd Academy Awards were held as usual, at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood, California, at the end of awards season in February, with Janelle Monáe opening the show to a packed house with not a single protective face mask in sight. About a month after the Oscars happened, the pandemic forced North America to go into lockdown mode, and it guaranteed this years’ 93rd Academy Awards would be nothing like last year’s ceremony. Well, except for all those people in the audience with maskless faces. According to Variety, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences won’t be forcing attendees to mask up this Sunday.
Writers For The 2011 Oscars Say Anne Hathaway And James Franco’s Hosting Gig Was A Mess Behind-The-Scenes Too
The 2011 Oscars was a flaming train wreck, and it was in part thanks to hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco, who redefined awkward. James Franco came off as a stoned douche (so he came off as he usually does) and Anne Hathaway tried, but compared to him, she was like a way too hyper child beauty pageant contestant who was given pixie sticks before going onstage (so she came off as she usually does). And it was also awkward for those who had to write words for Anne and James. It seems that leading up to the big night, the writers could see the writing on the wall, and try as they did, everything blew up in their faces. Now the writers can laugh about it, but it’s still the worst thing Anne’s done apart from Bride Wars. For James, it wasn’t the worst. James being an alleged predator is worse.
LaKeith Stanfield Wrote “Who Cares About Awards Shows?” In A Now-Deleted Instagram Post
LaKeith Stanfield is nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role in Judas and the Black Messiah. Supporting Actor. Even though he’s arguably the lead of the film. This baffled everyone, including Lakeith, who took to social media to say, “I’m confused too but fuck it lmao.” That post got deleted. And now he’s back at it again!
LaKeith posted a screenshot of a Deadline article about how the Oscars are thinking about going back on their No Zoom Allowed! policy. His caption? ‘No one cares lmao.” In the comment section, he added, “Real stuff is happening. Who cares about awards.’ Ha! He’s not wrong! It didn’t last long; obviously, Lakeith’s agent or manager or his own later-brain urged him to take it down, so he did. But deleted social media posts are like Rasputin. It’s nearly impossible to kill them.
The Producers Of The Oscars Telecast Are Getting A Lot Of Pushback On Their No-Zoom Policy
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences really ought to have the “science” stripped from their title because of their decision to hold an in-person-only ceremony in the middle of a global pandemic. Yes, I said middle! CNN reports that in the U.S. alone, only 13% of the population have been fully vaccinated, though I’m sure 98% of Hollywood probably has (Good luck getting a free donut at the Krispy Kreme in Burbank past 9 am). Last week the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Stunting announced that they will not be allowing any nominees to accept awards remotely. That means if they want to pick up their Oscar, they have to be physically present at the ceremony which is being held on April 25th at Union Station in Downtown Los Angeles. This has understandably been met with pushback from nominees who would have to travel at a time when many restrictions and quarantines are still in place due to the ongoing presence of a potentially deadly disease that’s floating around the world, desperate to find a nice juicy nostril to set up shop in.
This Year’s Oscars Will Be Totally In Person And Zooming In Is Not Allowed
Like a music producer hosting his birthday at a nightclub, the Oscars want the nominees to show up in person. Back in December, the Oscars announced that the ceremony would be in-person despite coronavirus still being a thing. Other recent award shows have mixed in-person with nominees appearing via video call, but not the Oscars! Producers have made it clear that at the event there will be no Zoom options and they better not catch your ass wearing sweats or jeans! We are getting back! To! Opulence! Time to give the peasants something to aspire to again!