Shia Labeouf Is Not Having Sexing With His Mother
Nothing gets your day going quite like incest-talk, right? Put down the hypodermic needle filled with coffee, because you won’t be need your injection of caffeine this morning.
When asked by Hot Hits what’s the weirdest thing he’s ever read about himself, Shia said:
“That I have sex with my mother on a regular basis… it’s so freaking outrageous.”
Shia has said in the past that he would be with his mother if he could. He also said that he got his sense of humor by seeing her walk around the house with her bare titty balls dragging on the floor.
Methinks Shia just needs to stop talking about his mother altogether. Whenever he starts a sentence with “My mother…“, you know it’s going to make you pound your head into the table until the thought he just put into your brain comes pouring out of your ears. Just don’t, Shia. Only talk about how good your mother’s cookies are and that’s it. Actually, no. Don’t talk about your mother’s cookie.
Furthermore, who ever said Shia was doing fuck times with his mama je’e?! And notice how he only said he doesn’t do it “regularly.” Okay, I need to stop, drop and roll. I hate Shia for this.
Image: Fame Pictures
The CAPTION THIS Contest For June 10th!
Ben-Hurl – WTFOMGLOL
Runners-up:
Shia and his mom put SO much effort into last years’ Halloween. – TheKadinskyPapers
When in Rome, have Beth Ditto show you around the city. – RecessVillain
In an effort to develop the strongest skincare line yet, researchers have started putting Pizzaface Diaz’s used Biore strips under the microscope – rachel_nyc
(Thanks Bee)
Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Divebombing Bird of San Francisco – A blackbird in San Francisco has been terrorizing people in the financial district. For the past few weeks, the bird has been dive bombing random people who walk by. The bird chills on his building ledge, patiently waiting for the perfect bitch to bomb. Hey, it’s better than him going caca on their heads. Experts say the bird is probably just protecting his nest.
There’s even a blog dedicated to his acts of terror!
It’s like The Birds come to life! Only this is just one bird and he’s not pecking out the eyes of people…….yet.
(For Natalie & Christina)
Birthday Sluts
Queen Fabiola of Belgium (81)
Shia LaBeouf (23)
Joshua Jackson (31)
Matt McGrath (40)
Peter Dinklage (40)
Hugh Laurie (50)
Joe Montana (53)
Lynsey de Paul (59)
Adrienne Barbeau (64)
Christina Crawford (70)
Gene Wilder (76)
Feeling A Little Nippy?
Yesterday, I applauded Heather Graham for wearing a “one dolla to make you holla” dress to the Dublin premiere of The Hangover. At today’s London premiere of the movie, Heather stayed with the whole sex-worker theme by wearing this stripper floor gown. A professional snatch shaker would usually wear a luxurious gown like this when she’s begging tricks for lap dances. Heather’s booby boners added an extra touch of class to this already elegant ensemble. Speaking of Heather’s nipples…
Is it just me or do they roll around her breasts? In one picture, her nipple is chilling out on the east side of her breast. In another, it’s back in the center. It would actually be kind of fun if you had nipples that moved around like that. When you’re really bored, you could lay on your bed and try to roll your nipple into the correct spot. It would be like having your own personal labyrinth game on your chest!
Where Is His Gorgeous Cholita Mother?
Danny Noriega, the MiserAlba look-alike from American Idol, has unleashed a new video to the world and it’s a homemade wreck! Do DOS machines still exist, because this shit might have been made on one. Aw. I shouldn’t say that. This wasn’t homemade. I’m sure it was shot at the finest music video booth Six Flags has to offer. The effects are spellbinding. Danny’s video features every standard MS Windows screensaver. That has to be a first.
Who is this Diamonique person? I bet you her real name is Crystal and she’s a part-time “sales associate” at Wet Seal. Danny had to let her be in the video, because she provided the wardrobe. You know how that goes. But Danny made one huge mistake. Where is his gorgeous cholita mother? Everything Diamonique did (or didn’t) do, Danny’s gorgeous cholita mother could have done better! When are her perfect eyebrows going to get their time in the spotlight?
As for the song, I’m so glad this didn’t come out when I was 16. I would’ve been bobbing my ass to this at the all-ages club thinking I was it.