Modern Talking!

In the 80s, England was the Queen of the dude pop duos. They gifted all of our senses with musical jewels like Erasure, Pet Shop Boys, Wham!, Soft Cell and Climie Fisher (don’t act like you still don’t know every word of Love Changes Everything). Germany must have gotten sick of England being the largest creator and exporter of pop duos, because in the mid-80s Modern Talking was born!

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Zsa Zsa Gabor (99)
Tinashe (23)
Dane DeHaan (30)
Kris Humphries (31)
Crystal Reed (31)
Alice Eve (34)
Calum Best (35)
Drita D’avanzo (40)
Kim Zmeskal (40)
Brian Stepanek (45)
David Hayter (47)
Rick Astley (50)
Axl Rose (54)
Robert Townsend (59)
Kathy Najimy (59)
Jim Sheridan (67)
Fabian (73)
Tom Brokaw (76)
Mike Farrell (77)
Rip Torn (85)
Mamie Van Doren (85)

Prince Hot Ginge visited with little children at a school in Lancashire today. PHG seems so good with children and that’s a good thing, because he can deal with the kids as I get drunk while watching Real Housewives on my iPad in the bathroom where it’s fucking quiet   – Lainey Gossip 

Sofia Vergara won’t complain about diversity, but she will complain in a few years about her magnificent chichis being too big when she needs a titty reduction – Celebitchy

Good news for Teresa Giudice! Her house arrest (which she spent getting her picture taken at events) is over, so now she can go to events to get her picture taken! – Reality Tea 

MiserAlba looks like a dead-eyed mannequin in Cosmopolitan – Drunken Stepfather

If Robert Kardashian’s ghost really did help Kanye West write his album, then I’m guessing songs titled “Tell That Cunt Whore Kris She Tainted My Daughters” and “Okay, O.J. Really Did It” will be on it – The Superficial 

That big-tittied blonde model who isn’t Kate Upton did GQ Mexico – IDLYITW

A British boy bander not named Harry Styles came out as a lover of peen – Towleroad

This deer obviously framed Steven Avery too – The Berry 

Hilary Duff celebrated her divorce being final by going to Hawaii with her son and the dude she just got divorced from – Popoholic

I thought this was LeAnn Rimes and now I feel like I need to write a really long apology note to Natalie Dormer – Hollywood Tuna 

I see that Kanye West is styling Chrissy Teigen now – Popsugar

Nice try, Chris Martin, but you’re still about as edgy as a beige Polo shirt with a popped collar – HuffPo

Kesha and her mom won a little victory against Dr. Luke – Just Jared

The Property Brothers released a shitty country music video and all I can say is that I really hope Sandra Rinomato, formerly of Property Virgins, releases a disco song one day – Starcasm

Weekend Programming Note: I’m doing this weekend by myself, so it’s going to be on the light side and since I’ll most likely be day drinking there might be more mistakes than usual. But really, what else is new?

Pic: Getty

Henry Cavill posted this picture on Instagram today of him doing Superman training for the Justice League movie. It took me a while to notice his face (“Wait, there’s a face in that picture? Where?!” – you while licking the screen and typing at the same time), but when I did I noticed that his facial expression was a cross between an O face and a “concentrating really hard on trying to poot out a stubborn fart” face. But then again, isn’t there a thin line between someone’s O face and someone’s fart face? I need to stop before I find another way to ruin this hotness even more than I have.

And someone really needs to tell Henry that if he’s serious about his Superman training, he needs to do naked jumping jacks in a SnapChat video. I mean, the real Superman did that while training. I read that in a Superman comic book or something.

When Daisy Fuentes and Richard Marx got married in Aspen back in December, my brain though “Well that’s nice” and then promptly filed said information into the trash, along with what I ate for lunch and the plot of the 1985 film Perfect. So obviously I got a raging case of Groundhog Day when I saw that Daisy Fuentes and Richard Marx got married in Los Angeles last night. Thankfully, my brain doesn’t empty the trash that often, so I was able to go in and confirm that, yes, these two are already married and, no, I’m not losing my mind.

According to Karent Sierra (yes, former RHOM cast member Karent Sierra), the guest list at Daisy and Richard’s Aspen wedding was limited to close family only. So Daisy and Richard decided to throw themselves a second Aspen-themed wedding because none of their friends were at the first one. Daisy and Richard didn’t do the whole vow thing, but they did have bunch of fake snow and played a video of their Aspen wedding on a constant loop.

E! says the guest list at Daisy and Richard’s second wedding also included Ringo Starr, Kenny G, and David Foster. Oh my god, that’s like a waiting room’s dream.

Daisy and Richard apparently took the Aspen theme all the way to the reception dress code by asking their guests to show up wearing “Aspen attire.” Okay, someone failed here. Neither Daisy or Richard, or any of their friends were wearing Aspen attire. There wasn’t a single pair of neon ski pants, neon ski boots, Bollé goggles, or white turtleneck to be seen. And yes, I’m basing everything I know about “Aspen attire” on this Juicy Fruit commercial.

Pics: Daisy Fuentes, Karent Sierra

Danica Dillon threw a lawsuit at Quiverfull Garbage Pail Kid Josh Duggar last November for causing her emotional and physical pain by allegedly getting really rough with her during sex. Danica has now dropped the lawsuit and says that she made it all up. In related news, the Duggars have just filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against Danica Dillon because telling blatant lies for profit is their game and they don’t appreciate her stealing it!

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