Jeremy Irons, aka that stuck-up brother-killing rat bastard Scar from The Lion King (as well as other things, I’m sure), has a lot of opinions pushing around in his head. I’m sure there are a bunch of harmless ones, like about scarves being the ultimate serious thespian accessory or how prayer hands are a much more sophisticated greeting than a tacky-ass wave. But the ones that end up coming out of his mouth are sometimes not as cute. Back in 2013, Jeremy hawked up a greasy thought wad about gay marriage possibly leading to fathers marrying their sons for tax reasons (an opinion he later tried to backpedal on). Well, now he’s got an opinion on abortions and marriage. And guess what? They’re the kind of opinions that he’s probably going to end up wishing he’d kept inside his head, tucked behind his brain stem along with that shit about gay marriage.

Continue reading

The Russian bootlegs have already started showing up. – Shane Yorston

Upvote winners (It’s a tie!):

Is it me or has “Shakespeare in the Park” gotten too commercial? – I am Legend

“Fuck you! My back tattoo does not suck!” – BellaJ

Pic: Izismile

Boots, the igloo-building puss!

Denver currently looks like Charlie Sheen’s Shangri-La because it got hit hard with a blizzard and is covered with the fluffy white shit. But well, if you’re Adam Stevens, a photojournalist for Denver 7, and you’ve got a cat friend named Boots, you don’t have to worry about digging yourself out of that suffocating-hill of snow. Because Boots has got this.

One time when I was hanging out with my mom’s cat, I put an ice cube in front of him while he was begging for some of my El Pollo Loco, and when he touched it, he jumped back faster than John Travolta after getting flashed by a cooch. I figured that cats hate water in all forms, but Boots has proven me wrong.

Adam made a video of Boots digging himself a little snow cave that looks like something out of January Jones’ colonoscopy.

I still think that raccoons will soon be our new overlords, but when I watch videos like this, I can say that cats are a close second. Because if the Ice Age happens again, Boots will be safe in his underground snow lair plotting the rise of pussies while all of us our freezing our way to a date with the Grim Reaper.

Gene Shalit (90)
Aly Michalka (27)
Ryan Lewis (28)
Big Sean (28)
Jason Castro (29)
Katharine McPhee (32)
Sean Faris (34)
Danica Patrick (34)
Jenny Slate (34)
Lee Pace (37)
Édgar Ramírez (39)
Wladimir Klitschko (40)
Melanie Blatt of All Saints (41)
Juvenile (41)
Lark Voorhies (42)
Cathy Dennis (47)
Sarah Jessica Parker (51)
Lisa Gay Hamilton (52)
Mike Henry (52)
Marcia Cross (54)
Brenda Strong (56)
Daniel Boulud (61)
Bonnie Bedelia (68)
Elton John (69)
Paul Michael Glaser (73)
Aretha Franklin (74)
Anita Bryant (76)
Gloria Steinem (82)

Pic: Getty

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis’ 16-year-old daughter Lily-Rose Depp is supposedly dating 24-year-old British model Ash Stymest. Maybe they’re not dating. Ash Stymest (which sounds like the name of medical term for an STD) has a 4-year-old daughter, so maybe Lily-Rose is friends with her and they’re just having a playdate. Whatever the case may be, I’m sure Johnny likes Ash. I mean, they both appreciate a disgustingly fugly scarf  – Lainey Gossip 

Did aliens abduct the real Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez and replace them with clones, because why aren’t they gnawing each other’s throats off in a court room? – Celebitchy

Brooks Ayers, you know the one who faked cancer on Real Housewives of Orange County, is still saying that he didn’t fake cancer – Reality Tea 

Caitlyn Jenner is going to vote for Donald Trump – The Superficial 

A bunch of Hollywood power types are going to ban filming in Georgia if the state passes an anti-gay religious freedom bill. In possibly related news, Caitlyn Jenner has announced that she’s moving filming of “I Am Cait” to Georgia! – Towleroad

Kendall Jenner is on the cover of Vogue wearing one of The Nanny’s old tops and duh, The Nanny wore it better – Popoholic

And here’s the weird and fucked-up road Wonder Woman took to get to the movie screen – Blastr

It’s day 3 of MiserAlba in a bikini watch. And somebody please give me the Q-Tip, because I’m actually feeling things for Cash Warren – The Nip Slip 

Every presidential candidate who isn’t Jabba the Trump should really make this gorgeous picture of The Porn Iguana their main campaign poster – Drunken Stepfather

Where were you when you first heard “Butterfly” by Crazy Town? – Pajiba

Julianne Hough’s face looks different – Hollywood Tuna

Behold, the reading room in HELL – SOW

Ezra Miller went on that superhero diet and buffed up – Just Jared 

Jennifer Garner went on Dr. Oz (???) and talked about how much her son hates the paps. So stop calling them, Jen! – Popsugar

Today in TOO EASY, Khlozilla says that fillers jacked up her face – HuffPo

Pic: FameFlynet

No, this is not a picture of Dumbledore after he faked his death and ran away to the Caribbean because he was truly sick of all that Hogwarts drama. It’s also not a picture of a shrunken Randy Quaid shooting Vermont Public Access’ version of The Biggest Loser. It’s 68-year-old David Letterman using his millions to live that lavish retired life. David Letterman spent decades in a nipple-suffocating suit (I think he even wore it to bed), so he has freed himself of that Men’s Warehouse cocoon and is living it up in St. Barts.

Now, if I was a multi-multi-millionaire retiree like David Letterman, I’d be spending all of my days lounging on a pile of naked Prince Hot Ginge impersonators while smoking the finest of the finest good shit out of a Baccarat dick bong as Stacey Q and Martika performed Showgirls: The Musical live in front of me. But for some reason, David Letterman chose to go to St. Barts with his wife Regina Lasko. Weird, but it’s his millions and his life!

Letterman is also giving me “Santa Claus if Santa Claus was in the witness protection program” vibes and I’m into that, so yeah, I’d put on a butt-less elf onesie and hit it hard.

Pics: FameFlynet