From The “I Can’t” Files: Jeremy Irons’ Thoughts On Gay Marriage

April 3, 2013 / Posted by:

It hurts putting the “Dumb Bitch of the Day” tag with the “Jeremy Irons” tag, but the crap that fell out of his mouth during his interview with HuffPost Live….

HuffPost Live’s Josh Zepps brought up the topic of same-sex marriage and Jeremy Irons could’ve easily just said that he doesn’t care about it or he doesn’t like it or whatever. But instead, he opened up his talk hole and let out a rambling stream of shit. Jeremy is afraid that same-sex marriage will lead to fathers marrying their sons for tax reasons.

Here’s how Jeremy and Josh’s conversation went (SPOILER ALERT: It ran off the rails and crashed). It almost makes more sense if you picture Scar saying this instead of Jeremy Irons:

Jeremy: Well, I don’t know… It’s a very interesting one, that, and I don’t really have a strong feeling, but I see that… What we had in England, which was not marriage, but it was a union you could make if you were gay and wanted to make a civil partnership.

Josh: Yes, civil union sort of has the same rights as marriage, but not the name.

Jeremy: That’s right. Same rights, not the name. It seems to me that now they’re fighting for the name and I worry that it means somehow we debase or we change what marriage is. I just worry about that. I mean, tax-wise is an interesting one, because could a father not marry his son?

Josh: Um, well there are laws against incest.

Jeremy: It’s not incest between men. Incest is there to protect us against inbreeding, but men don’t breed, so incest wouldn’t cover that. Now if that was so, then if I wanted to pass on my estate without death duties, I could marry my son and pass on my estate to him.

Josh: No, that sounds like a total red herring. I’m sure that incest law would still cover same-sex marriages.

Jeremy: Really, why?

Josh: Because I don’t think that incest law is only justified on the basis of the consequences of procreation. I think there’s also a moral approbation that’s associated with incest.

Jeremy: But I think it comes from breeding. I think the lawyers are going to have a field day with same-sex marriage. I don’t have a strong feeling either way. I just wish everyone that’s living with one other person the best luck in the world, because it’s fantastic.

Josh: Spoken like a happily married man.

Jeremy: Yeah, and also a man who has a dog that he loves.

THE FUCK?! Jeremy Irons said a few years ago that children under 16 are “immensely attractive” and the “hysteria” over pedophilia is ruining relationships between parents and their kids. Then he says this shit? Jeremy’s son Max Irons is going to side-eye him something extra the next time they hug.

And now I can’t fap to Jeremy Irons the next time Damage comes on cable. Jeremy Irons is ruining Jeremy Irons for me!

Here’s the video if you need to hear those words coming out of Jeremy’s mouth.

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