Olympic gold medalist and University of Georgia student Gunnar Bentz is one of the Faux Robbery Four. That’s him up top on the left leaving a police station in Rio accompanied by teammate Jack Conger on Thursday. He’s released a statement via the university’s athletic department apologizing and confirming that yes, Ryan Lochte is douche enough that Giganta would have extra.

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Az Yet! (And FYI: It’s not short for Arizona Yet.)

Wikipedia tells me that Az Yet was born in the lobby of the Wyndham Hotel in Philadelphia where two of its founding members met, and after adding and dropping and adding a few more members, they signed a deal with LaFace Records in 1996. They were on their way to becoming the Backstreet Boys to Boyz II Men’s *NSYNC! (Or the other way around depending on how you look at it.) That didn’t really happen, but Az Yet did release one of the greatest sensitive fuck time slow jams of 1996.

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David Walliams (45)
Demi Lovato (24)
Alex Newell (24)
Brant Daugherty (31)
Andrew Garfield (33)
Meghan Ory (34)
Ben Barnes (35)
Jamie Cullum (37)
Nicole Curtis (40)
Amy Adams (42)
Misha Collins (42)
Santino Rice (42)
Jonathan Ke Quan (45)
Fred Durst (46)
KRS-One (51)
Carole Radziwill (53)
James Marsters (54)
David O. Russell (58)
Joan Allen (60)
Al Roker (62)
Robert Plant (68)
Connie Chung (70)
Ron Paul (81)
Don King (85)

Pic: BBC

Orlando Bloom went off to Japan and while he’s there, I hope a good Samaritan who cares about the internet’s unquenchable thirst for peen hands him a paddle board and points him toward the nearest naked beach  – Lainey Gossip 

Nobody understands Jaden Smith and Jaden Smith knew that a quick minute after coming out of the womb – Celebitchy

One of Justin Bieber’s ex-pieces got her Instagram hacked and her hacker posted an old fake nude of the Canadian Ryan Lochte – The Superficial 

What in trampy sad clown going to a funeral HELL is Olivia Palermo wearing? – Drunken Stepfather

A few WWE wrestlers got suspended for injecting, snorting or guzzling some shit they shouldn’t have – WWTDD

And yet another trick has stolen Melon Cat’s signature look – Reality Tea

The teaser trailer for American Horror Story: Sorority House has to be the most terrifying teaser trailer in the show’s history! Hold me… – Towleroad

Here’s a Venti something-or-another motorboating Hilary Duff – Popoholic

This Pac-Man clip starring the Balloon Popping Dog needs to be made into a full movie – Hollywood Tuna 

Julianne Hough and Nina Dobrev got their Instagram THOT on – IDLYITW

I wonder what kind of gifts the cast of Blade Runner 2 are going to get from Jared Leto? – Just Jared

Happy Friday, here’s a buffet of Jason Momoa nipples – Popsugar

Pic: FameFlynet

That story about the heroic French race walker getting the runs (literally) and collapsing before finishing the race has been e-mailed to me 100% more times than this riveting story has, but I already did one Olympic post about a shitty mess caused by an asshole, so I’m going to talk about this couple possibly getting their oceanfront fuck-on instead.

Dan Walker of BBC Sport was reporting live on Copacabana Beach in Rio for the Olympics when viewers tweeted about a dude possibly doing the freestyle front stroke on a lady friend in front of everyone on the sand. If they were really screwing, it’s just screwing! Big deal! But Dan Walker got all embarrassed when viewers pointed it out and he joked that they were hugging or just reading a book…in the dark… and in a weird position. If that’s how you read a book in Brazil, then I need to get on a plane and find a Barnes & Noble in Rio. The clip is below and I’ve watched it a hundred times and I’m still not sure what’s going on. But I do know that this is not what I have in mind when you combine “BBC” and fucking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrSOTe9df2k

All together now: “Matt Lauer, take that fuckery to your hotel room!”

Okay, I know it’s been a while, but isn’t there supposed to be some thrusting action? What’s even weirder is that Dan Walker is supposedly a sports presenter, so where is his play-by-play? Where are the slow-motion clips? Where are the after-performance interviews? Where are the scores? By the way, I give them a perfect 10 (0 for form, but 10 for shamelessness).

via The Wrap 

Katt Williams is 2016’s version of Pavlov’s Dog; you see his name, and you instantly prepare yourself for the news that the pocket-sized terror has done something shitty. Let’s get into what Katt did now, shall we?

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