I’ve never been to Baltimore, but I wish I had been in the 80s, because this commercial is hot shit. It’s for Mr. Ray’s Hair Weave and I guess it doesn’t exist anymore. A shame. I called to make an appointment, but the digits belong to another joint. No free consultation needed for me. I was going to order whatever the hot white woman in the commercial had done. She is looking and feeling fine her new look. I can tell. I would be every kind of hot in that weave. I’m being serious.

All commercials need to be made just like this.

Thanks Peaches

Here’s that old fart, Bruce Willis, looking like a crossing guard taking this child safely to the other side in NYC yesterday. That child happens to be his girlfriend, model Emma Hemming.

How lovely to be a Bruce Willis! You get to date a fetus. He’s smiling, because he knows it.

Splash

I got this e-mail about this “underground movement” going on for lesbians that do not want to be called “lesbian” anymore. I have no idea if this shit is old news and I’m barely getting in on it, but what the hell? They are calling themselves Gayelle. That sounds like the name of a drag queen performance group that does Sunday brunches in my neighborhood. The Gayelle website reads:

By choosing gayelle, the feminine factors in “the equation of who is gay and who is not” can reassert their interest in the word gay, as well as, assert a displeasure for the word lesbian. More importantly, however, to choose gayelle over lesbian, would demonstrate a form of action that, most assuredly, would be helpful in restoring the rightful dignity that belongs to the mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends, who have been victims of hatemongering and or a poorly-conceived joke, and or, a lack of sensitivity.

Gayelle is the logical and reasonable alternative, in that, it contains the words gay and elle (the French pronoun for “she”). Gayelle is a word that has relevance to our time, and it’s easy to say, as in the gay-gayelle community. Unlike the capitalized form of Lesbian, which is defined “a native or inhabitant of Lesbos,” and “of or pertaining to Lesbos;” gayelle and the capitalized form Gayelle, in essence, have the same meaning.

The choice is yours. Be hip and sapphic-chic with your preference for gayelle. Define this decade of the 21st-century with a new word and a new outlook. Go gayelle!

I’m not flunet in Gayelle yet, so I have no idea what the hell that says. Lesbo is like an ancient word taken from the Island of Lesbos in Ancient Greece. That’s where the first chicks did each other or something. The Island of Lesbos is now known as the Rosie Family Cruises.

Gayelle is the gayest thing I ever heard of in my life. Hey, but if that’s what you want to be called, more power to you. I will gladly call you Gayelle to your face and then turn around and call you a “stupid dyke” behind your back. I won’t say it too loud, because I’m scared of Gayelles. They can beat me up.

And for the record, all the lesbians I know would never want to be called a Gayelle. If they did, I would have to dick slap them and that wouldn’t be pleasant for either of us.