The world may be a mean, nasty place going to shit (and that’s just Twitter), but the heavens opened a glimmer last night…and it surprisingly had something to do with Simon Cowell. When former Hot Slut of the Week Susan Boyle first appeared on Britain’s Got Talent in 2009, her voice of an angel melted even the most cynical, breathing lumps of coal hearts most of us around here are known to have. Thanks to her genuinely innocent ways to Pebbles the cat, she became a star. Susan has had a tough road to fame with pain-in-the-ass celebrities and singers not necessarily being the nicest about her upstaging them on their own music, but she may not be as delicate a flower as we once thought. She’s returning to compete and was on the stage for America’s Got Talent: The Champions last night.
Either the Time’s Up movement went on a deep dive for receipts or there are people like me whose idea of a good Saturday night is a good bottle of whiskey and commentating on Cheryl’s old X Factor outfits that just happened to stumble on some ick-tastic video. An old video from the after show of X Factor U.K. has resurfaced, and it shows one of the show’s original judges, Louis Walsh, clearly cupping Mel B’s ass and giving it a pat. Continue reading
Music mogul and professional dream dasher Simon Cowell had a scary fall down a flight of stairs at his London house early this morning. Do all his eliminated acts from last week’s X Factor have an alibi? Continue reading
I know, Simon. Katy Perry has spoiled a lot of things for me, too (short hair, award show monologues , Orlando Bloom). Unrepentant bitch in a v-neck sweater Simon Cowell made himself a household name by being the cruel one on the original American Idol. ABC is bringing the show back despite it only having gone off the air last year. And Simon’s got opinions. (It took 35 years to get a sequel to Blade Runner, you desperate-for-advertising dollars hoes!) Continue reading
We all know that Mel B has been going through all of capital-I it lately. Her marriage finally ended and it was revealed that her husband, Stephen Belafonte, was a real piece of (allegedly violent) work. Then she was ordered to fork over a ton of cash to keep Stephen in the moocher lifestyle he had grown accustomed to. We also know that Mel B is close with her fellow America’s Got Talent judge Simon Cowell. Simon decided to make a joke about Mel B’s marriage last night on America’s Got Talent. That’s not Mel B showering Simon with a cup full of kisses.
American Idol: Does Anybody Want This? is rolling full-steam ahead. They reportedly have grinning cereal box mascot Ryan Seacrest returning to host. They tried to get Idol winner Kelly Clarkson as a judge, but lost her to a spinning red chair. Apparently they have tried to get Simon Cowell as well. Simon was asked by his former girlfriend Terri Seymour yesterday on Extra if he’s going to be on the new Idol. To borrow from his pal Randy Jackson, it was a no from him, dawg. Simon is happy remembering the glory days of Idol and doesn’t want to be part of the new one.
“I was asked to do it, and the answer is no. I have no interest. My memories are when we first started. It was a different time with Randy [Jackson], Ryan [Seacrest] and Paula [Abdul]. You can’t recreate that. Last time I watched, it was not the same show, just the same name. I left for a reason and I never regretted that.”
First Kelly turns Idol down, now Simon. The good news is that if producers run out of potential judge options by audition time, they’ve got the perfect temporary substitutes. The auditions for New Idol will be held at Disney World; all they have to do is just grab a couple animatronics from the Carousel of Progress and program them to say stuff like “Wow, I’ve got chills” and “It’s a no.” Plus, they’ll work for batteries, and they’ll get along great with fellow robot Ryan Seacrest.