Simon Cowell Will Be On Bedrest For Six More Months Following His Bike Accident

Back in early August, Simon Cowell broke his back in an electric bike accident. He fell while testing his new $20,000 bike in the courtyard of his Malibu compound (oo, la la!) in front of his 6-year-old son Eric and 14-year-old stepson Adam. Simon had to get spinal surgery, which sounds scary and serious. But mere days later his America’s Got Talent co-star, Howie Mandel, said the injured 61-year-old was doing “spectacularly well, considering”, and was expected to return to his AGT gig before season’s end (didn’t happen). Then, this weekend, a source close to Simon denied reports he was in rough shape, and he was, in fact, walking 10,000 steps a day (wow, 9,900 more steps than my record!). That source joked that Simon’s girlfriend Lauren Silverman had to “run to keep up with him.” Uh huuuh.

Welp, I guess either that was a load of baloney, or walking 10k steps a day on a broken back maybe isn’t a great idea, because now sources are saying Simon must remain bed-ridden for six months. He’s on a cocktail of strong painkillers, has round-the-clock nurse care, and must wear a brace.

via Page Six:

“It’s been a rough few weeks,” a friend told the Sun. “Simon’s a fighter and fairly gung-ho. Naturally, he thought he’d be out of action for a few weeks and then, if not doing iron man contests, at least be back on the showbiz circuit. Instead, he’s had a setback from surgery to fuse two vertebrae and it has proven more complicated than a standard break.”

Simon’s in such a bad way that he won’t even be able to record messages for America’s Got Talent (or Britain’s Got Talent) from bed. But, but, who will be the British asshole? You’ve got the hairless germaphobe Canuck, the sexy German lady, the sexy Colombian lady… you need the British asshole to balance it at all out! It’s a very delicate ecosystem, those talent show judges tables.

But apparently Simon is too “vain” to go on TV in his current state:

“Simon is joking and in decent spirits,” a source told The Sun. “But he’s also quite vain and the idea of going on national TV with no studio make-up, and while on heavy-duty medication, didn’t appeal. So, unfortunately, he had to decline producers’ requests.”

Pish posh, Simon doesn’t need studio make-up! Wasn’t the point of his plastic surgery? To serve effortless, natural beauty each and every day sans the use of fards? Meanwhile, everyone working on Simon’s shows must be literally breathing easy now that their resident indoor chain smoker is off sick. As if doing your job wearing a face mask wasn’t hard enough…

Pic: Wenn.com