Before NeNe Leakes was wishing ride-share rape on a female audience member at her standup show in Oakland, she was back to her mudslinging ways with Kim “WIG” Zolciak. As we have covered extensively, Kim’s daughter Brielle Biermann shot a Snapchat video from inside of one of NeNe’s bathrooms and spotted what were labeled as roaches (but didn’t really look like riches). NeNe took that for racism and labeled the Biermanns as racists. She also said that Brielle brought the roaches into her home by way of her snatch. There, you’re all caught up!
When Kim Zolciak and NeNe Leakes of The Real Housewives of Atanta (and Tardy for the Party) announced they were friends again back in 2014, even Israel and Palestine were like, “If those broads can kiss and make up, why can’t we?!” That détente is no more. Thanks to “roach” pussy. Continue reading
Wig guru and makeup-free selfie enthusiast (j/k! Just seeing if you’re awake) Kim Zolciak-Biermann only just announced via her Instagram she was returning in a “#morethanafriendlessthanfulltime” role to Real Housewives of Atlanta, and it’s taking her no time to start clawing with a recent sparring partner. TMZ reports the Georgia peaches were filming this weekend, and things quickly took a turn for the physical between Kim and Kenya Moore. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean they took part in an Olivia Newton-John singalong. Continue reading
Earlier this month, bewigged reality television goodtime gal Kim Zolciak lowered the “cool mom” archetype to new depths by publicly offering her daughter’s oral favors so her son Kash could meet John Legend. Yes, that’s right. So THE SON could meet John Legend. It was 20-year-old Brielle Biermann who would have been strapping on the knee pads in exchange for goods and services for SOMEONE ELSE. Kim’s not exactly the most feminist pimp around, huh? John’s wife Chrissy Teigen saved Brielle from her human-trafficking mother by saying that there was no need for beej. The Zolciak-Biermann clan made it backstage to meet John without anyone having to spit or swallow. Heartwarming. Continue reading
Kim Zolciak, the mutated polyester blond wig from Real Housewives of Atlanta and Tardy For The Party, is currently getting a lot of her favorite thing (after silicone shots to the lips, of course): attention! The garage sale Barbie styling head who was brought to life by Lucifer to terrorize us all tweeted at Chrissy Teigen last night about getting tickets to a John Legend show for her 4-year-old son Kash. Kim must be a Pimp Mama Kris-in-training because she “jokingly” tried to pimp out her 20-year-old clone daughter, Brielle Biermann, for those tickets.
Garage sale Barbie Stylin’ Head turned gold digger turned Bravo reality trick Kim Zolciak once said that she came out of the womb chasing dick. Well, she also came out of the womb with a thigh gap.
Kim really, really cares about having a space between her thighs that’s about as empty as her sense of dignity. Kim is always shitting up pictures on Instagram of her proud thigh gap. A few of her followers have accused her thigh gap of being as fake as everything else about her and said that she’s using tricks like Photoshop and pigeon-toed posing to give herself one. Yesterday, Kim let the thigh gap conspiracists on Instagram know that she’s always had one. When she was a newborn in the hospital nursery, the other newborns looked at her with jealous eyes like, “Bitch, stop faking that thigh gap!”
Date night but only have an hour! Gotta make time even if it’s quick I don’t need to stick my butt out or point my feet in to have a thigh gap I have one even if I stand on my head #BornWithIt #ILoveYouJuicy #IDontPostForYourOpinion #ItsMYIGSoIPostPicsOfMe #ThatsNothingNew BOOTS ARE FREEPEOPLE
The blond Kim Kartrashian isn’t only a natural thigh gap-haver, but she’s also a master of comedy, because she’s standing with her ass out and pigeon toed on purpose, right?
The whole thigh gap obsession is moronic and embarrassing, but now it all makes sense. When NeNe Leakes said that Kim needs to keep her legs closed to married men, she didn’t know that it’s impossible for Kim to do that. Kim’s legs are just so naturally skinny and her thighs are just so naturally tiny that even when she closes her legs all the way, they’re open. It’s not her fault that she was born that way!