Shit You Learn When You’re Not A Parent: Some States Require Grade School Age Children To Sit In A Car Booster Seat
Who knew that the comment section of a fame whore’s Instagram page could be a place of learning? The off-brand Barbie styling head that was brought to life by a fame whore fairy to be a star on Bravo, Kim Zolciak, posted a picture on Instagram of her 6-year-old son @kashbiermann (yes, he has his own Instagram page. I mean look who his mom is…) sitting in a booster car seat. And as the moms of Instagram fought in the comments over whether or not Kash is too big for a booster car seat, I learned that in some states, kids of a certain height are required to sit in a booster car seat. Call me dumb (it wouldn’t be the first time today, I have talked to my mom a couple of times already), but I never knew this. How times have changed. When I was 6 years old, car safety consisted of my mom or dad throwing their arm over my chest in the passenger seat when they broke too hard, or my uncle screaming, “Hold on to the side, I’m about drive over a bump,” out the window as we rode in the back of his pick-up truck.
The Daily Mail is saying that 40-year-old Bravo plastic Muppet Kim Zolciak may have taken some artistic liberties when posting a picture of her 4-year-old twins Kaia and Kane to social media this week. Above is Kim keeping very calm and still as to not alarm her child as a terrifying pair of mutated slugs attack her face.
Kim’s 21-year-old daughter Brielle (the one who’s a big fan of John Legend) shared a picture of her siblings to her Instagram story, and since Kim does whatever Brielle does in order to stay cool, young, hip and relevant, she shared the same picture. But people noticed it was slightly different. It would seem that in Kim’s picture Kaia was given a larger butt and a smaller nose. “Just the butt and nose?! What about boobs and lips?” cackled Kris Jenner before declaring Kim Z an amateur.
When one of Bravo’s most terrifying creations, KKKim Zolciak, pried open her 120 pound plastic lips with a crowbar at the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion and said that racism wasn’t a thing before social social (“I love the way Kim Zolciak thinks.” – Kanye West), I thought to myself that she should really take a quick little break from filling her lips and get her brain filled with some brain cells instead. (Although, I’m pretty sure you need a brain in the first place to do that.) Kim hasn’t gotten her head injected with brain cells yet, but she does get filler in her earlobes. You see, Kim is one of those unfortunates who was born with poor people earlobes (aka earlobes that can’t hold huge diamond earrings).
It’s damage control time for Kim Zolciak who is finding out the hard way that liars usually get caught, especially when the camera is running 24/7. Us Weekly reports that Kim has stopped all production on her show Don’t Be Tardy in the wake of the explosive Real Housewives Of Atlanta season 10 reunion, where Kim said some real dumb shit. She also got called out for telling lies like she was interviewing for a position in the Trump cabinet. God, please don’t let me have just spoken that into existence.
Kim Zolciak has made it very clear that she has no intention of returning to The Real Housewives of Atlanta. We don’t know the reasons but NeNe Leakes hinted that something untoward (and considering what passes for toward on those shows, it must have been really nasty) had gone down “behind the scenes” at the season 10 reunion special.
The tenth season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta has concluded, and now the Housewives are at the reunion stage where they discuss their issues like the refined, sophisticated women they are. SIKE! They scream, curse and bicker like toddlers fighting over the last cookie all while Andy Cohen watches. Well, now one of the original drama queens of the series Kim Zolciak is ready to retire her wig from the show for good.