Kourtney Kardashian got some attention this week after she launched herself into a messy scripted Twitter fight with her sisters Kim and Khloe Kardashian over some dumb, scripted drama about a family photo shoot. And now she’s getting a little more probably scripted attention.
TMZ says that 39-year-old Kourtney and her 25-year-old model boyfriend Younes Bendjima are over after 2 years with her ending it. Younes confirmed that he’s done with Kourtney by getting photographed in Mexico with an Instagram model named Jordan Ozuna. Jordan reportedly dated Tyga shortly after he split from Kourtney’s sister Kylie Jenner. It’s just like that song from The Lion King: it’s the ciiiiircle of Calabasaaaaaas.
In July, things started to go south after Kourtney Instagrammed a picture of her ass. Younes, clearly forgetting who pays the bills, called Kourtney out by asking “That’s what you need to show to get likes?” (before deleting his comment). Younes always had a problem with Kourtney acting THOTty on social media. Kourtney wasn’t feeling Younes’ possessiveness over her butt pics, and now she’s single.
The only downside is that Kris Jenner will now have to schedule an exit interview, like I’m sure she does with every one of the Kardashian-Jenner males that escape the koven. Luckily, it should be quick and painless. All Younes has to do is promise that he won’t yank too much publicity away from the family by dating a teenager like Kourtney’s previous dude, and he’s good to go.
UPDATE: Younes responded to the rumor that he’s already moved on, and it looks like a new KUWTK story arc has been born.
Looks like we’ve got yet another summer breakup from a former-One Direction member on our hands. This summer, I swear. If it’s not killing my will to live with Venus-degree heat, it’s killing love. But unlike Liam Payne leaving with a baby visitation schedule tucked under his arm, all Harry Styles has to worry about is picking up his toothbrush on the way out.
UsWeekly says that 55-year-old Nia Vardalos and 52-year-old Ian Gomez (aka Andy from Cougar Town) are divorcing after being married for a quarter of a century. According to documents, they went with the usual reason – irreconcilable differences. They were married in September 1993. Oh my god, an early-90s wedding; I can practically smell the Payless dyeable satin pumps.
Nia and Ian share an 11-year-old daughter named Ilaria, who they’ve asked for joint legal custody of.
Both Nia and Ian appeared together in seven films, including My Big Fat Greek Wedding 1 & 2, Connie and Carla, and I Hate Valentine’s Day. They also co-hosted the first two seasons of The Great American Baking Show. Neither Nia nor Ian have confirmed the news themselves, but thanks to a recent tweet Nia made, I’ve already started to imagine what her newly single life is life.
Antoni, I’m inviting myself and we’re making poutine gyros. https://t.co/54cFcmwK3I
— Nia Vardalos (@NiaVardalos) June 26, 2018
Random meats covered in cheese and salty gravy, surrounded by Antoni’s always-present redundant dips. That sounds exactly like what “Fuck it, I’m getting divorced” food should be.
It looks like Halsey has another dramatic scene to add to the movie she’s making about her life. I can see it now: the door slowly closes, Halsey wipes away a single tear as she turns to leave. Her inner monologue muses, “And just like that, I was no longer dating a guy whose name sounded like an attempt to market pre-peeled garlic to millennials.”
After five long, mostly-secretive years allegedly together (we never did get a full-on confirmation), Radar says that Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx are over. Also over, what was the most interesting thing about Katie Holmes.
About a month ago, OK! Magazine said that Katie and Jamie were getting married. Radar is on the same page as OK! – they spoke to a source who claims Katie and Jamie were planning a big, fancy wedding in Paris and a $300,000 honeymoon. Radar’s source says that Katie was the one who broke up with Jamie. In a move that did sort of shock me a little, it has nothing to do with not wanting to be associated with a guy who allegedly slaps women in the face with his penis. The source said that 39-year-old Katie split from 50-year-old Jamie because she “just couldn’t get over her trust issues.” She’s called their wedding off, and she’s “devastated.”
Those trust issues reportedly stemmed from their secret relationship. In the beginning, Katie and Jamie’s sneaking around could maybe have been explained by a rumored “no dating for five years” clause Tom Cruise put in their divorce agreement. The alleged clause expired in 2017, which would mean FoxHol could be out and proud, but that never happened. The source says that’s because Jamie liked playing single too much, and Katie tried to get him to sign a prenup with a no-cheating clause, but he refused to sign it.
The source adds that Jamie committed to the whole hiding-his-real-girlfriend act when he was out in public. I wonder if he was bold enough to keep it up in private too. Like if Katie showed up at his house unannounced and found him with some random girl. “Katie, it’s fine – I’m just having sex with her to throw everyone off about who I’m really dating. It’s not a side-piece, it’s a decoy! ”
Today marks the day you will no longer need to ask yourself: “What the fuck is Blac Chyna doing with that little boy?”
People is reporting that the endless love of our lifetime, 30-year-old Blac Chyna and 18-year-old rapper YBN Almighty Jay–real name: Jay Bradley – have broken up. Try to hold back your tears, everyone. Continue reading