It’s important that the public have people to turn to during times of change, like elections. Some choose to tune into CNN while others rely on Fox News’s zany, Gong Show style approach to “news” and “the truth“. No less important, perhaps more so, are individuals. Like past presidents or others in government. Or the national face of Florida, Aaron Carter. Here at Dlisted, we take Aaron Carter’s political views and opinions very seriously.
Michael K let you know back in March that the living scared straight ad was pretty much a lock for orange birth turd, Donald Trump. Aaron opened up to Esquire and said that despite not being a fan of many of Trump’s stances, like the border wall and banning gay marriage, he was down for him because of tax shit. Aaron filed for bankruptcy to get out of a hefty IRS back tax bill and seeing what Trump is talking about in relation to taxes and the fact Trump has been through a couple bankruptcies with his businesses made Aaron feel like he could relate to him. Well, Trump is probably crying and considering ending his campaign, and hopefully his life, because Aaron has changed his mind!
I have decided I will not be voting for Donald trump. I’ve seen a lot and to ME. it’s just something I can’t take part in. Too many reasons
— Aaron Carter (@aaroncarter) April 29, 2016
Aaron tweeted the above yesterday and thank God he did. We can all breathe easy knowing that there’s no way Trump can win now he’s lost this incredibly important voice within the presidential race. I want to know what exactly he’s referring to though by saying he’s “seen a lot”. Does this have anything to do with Kirstie Alley? Did she invite him over under the pretense of talking Trump but then at some point he realized it was just John Travolta in drag? That’s probably what happened. Regardless, let’s all take a moment to thank Aaron for swinging the pendulum away from Trump.
The POTUS dreams of Ted Cruz, John Kasich, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders and my personal pick Limberbutt McCubbins were shattered like a meth pipe in a vagina when Aaron Carter declared that his vote is probably going to go to Donald Trump. Aaron said in a tweet and later told GQ that despite all of the “wall” shit, he’s into Trump. But well, there’s been a YUGE development that is beyond great news for the other candidates, but sad and tragic news for the Trump campaign. Chris Christie is licking the greasy tears trickling down his master’s face, because Aaron Carter has declared on Twatter that he’s not voting for Trump anymore, because he’s not voting at all!
On February 27, every presidential candidate not named Donald Trump, threw up their hands and said, “Well, there goes that, we tried,” when the pride of Florida Aaron Carter declared in a tweet that he’s voting for the sunburnt taint goiter. When you win the ex-meth head child star majority, you win the whole bitch! The Hillary Duff stalker and Nick Carter coattail rider talked to GQ about why Donald Trump is the only candidate for him.
The year 2000 and the year 2007 has crashed together in a meth-induced haze and produced 2016’s greatest new IT couple: Aaron Carter and Chris Crocker!
Hilary Duff no longer has to worry about walking into her bathroom and finding her ex-stalker Aaron Carter making out with her toilet seat or spooning with the towel she used that morning while wearing her dirty panties like a face mask, because he has found himself a much hotter and sexier piece. The “LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOONE“ twink turned (that link is very NSFW —–>) power top porn star Chris Crocker posted this precious picture on Instagram of him cuddling up to his new boo Aaron Carter. Chrissy Crocker added this sugar-coated gumdrop to the pic:
Aaron found his candy
This totally genuine and real union probably started blooming right after Chrissy Crocker made a “LEAVE AARON CARTER ALOOOONE” video because the haters came for his man for refusing to do one of the only songs of his people know. Yes, they’re obviously faking this for Instagram likes, but I’m still going to choose to believe that their A-list love is for real and they will soon share it in a reality show that will rival Britney and Kevin: Chaotic. I mean, they already have their first scene for it:
And here’s Aaron showing off his meth abs on Instagram while looking like the kind of dirty hustler who uses plastic bags and rubber bands as condoms and will steal your wallet while he does you next to a dumpster. What I’m trying to say is that Chrissy Crocker is one lucky trick!
When Nick Carter was arrested two weeks ago for being all kinds of drunk at a place called the Hog’s Breath Saloon in Florida and choking out a bouncer because they wouldn’t let him pour any more booze down his throat, even Florida was like “Slow down, Nick Carter – that’s TOO Florida.” Apparently Nick Carter has finally realized that, yeah, he got a little too Florida that day, and now he wants you to know he’s sorry about it. Nick typed up a little apology on Twitter yesterday. Tip: Nick’s tweets are 1000x more entertaining if you pretend they were written by Mummy Nick from the video for “Everybody“.
I am human and at times it can be a struggle to balance a healthy lifestyle. I'm not perfect and for that I am sorry.
— Nick Carter (@nickcarter) January 23, 2016
When we fall we have to get up and keep on walking. I hope you stay by my side and continue to walk with me.
— Nick Carter (@nickcarter) January 23, 2016
Is it just me or does it sound like Nick yanked his apology tweets from a Christian bookstore’s Facebook wall? No, I’m sure he thought them all up himself with no help from either his lawyer or the Backstreet Boys’ PR person. One person who probably didn’t help him write it was his brother Aaron Carter, because he was too busy dealing with his own mess. TMZ says Aaron flipped out on a fan at a concert in Virgina earlier this week after they asked him to sing “I Want Candy“. Apparently Aaron wasn’t into that shit, told the fan “I’m 28, honey, and I’m grown” and walked off stage for a bit. TMZ has the video of Aaron’s “I’m grown” moment, which you can watch here.
Okay, but to be fair to that fan, if Aaron wasn’t going to sing “I Want Candy“, what else did he have planned? Three different versions of “Aaron’s Party” followed by an acoustic performance of “Crazy Little Party Girl“? Somewhere in Hell, a tortured soul is like “Hey, I have that album!”
Scientists looking for concrete proof that delusion is the secret ingredient in meth got what they were searching for in the tweet that pop twink turned Hilary Duff stalker Aaron Carter burped up yesterday. Aaron tweeted (and later deleted), “Remember one very important thing. Michael passed down the torch to me. I never had to ask for him to do that,” and that pretty much made Twitter ring the bell because the games had begun.
When a bunch of people on Twitter threw Aaron the same “uh huh, bitch” look that my friends throw at me when I tell them I’m going on a 5 day booze and weed cleanse, he defended himself and stamped the word “bully” on the hos who laughed at him for saying he’s the Michael Jackson of our time. I read the string of tweets this morning and thought they were going to bring the laughs, but they quickly nose dived straight into a puddle of SADS.
Some of the tweets that Aaron tweeted up are after the cut and in case you didn’t know, his nickname for Michael Jackson is “Dookie.” I mean….