It’s important that the public have people to turn to during times of change, like elections. Some choose to tune into CNN while others rely on Fox News’s zany, Gong Show style approach to “news” and “the truth“. No less important, perhaps more so, are individuals. Like past presidents or others in government. Or the national face of Florida, Aaron Carter. Here at Dlisted, we take Aaron Carter’s political views and opinions very seriously.
Michael K let you know back in March that the living scared straight ad was pretty much a lock for orange birth turd, Donald Trump. Aaron opened up to Esquire and said that despite not being a fan of many of Trump’s stances, like the border wall and banning gay marriage, he was down for him because of tax shit. Aaron filed for bankruptcy to get out of a hefty IRS back tax bill and seeing what Trump is talking about in relation to taxes and the fact Trump has been through a couple bankruptcies with his businesses made Aaron feel like he could relate to him. Well, Trump is probably crying and considering ending his campaign, and hopefully his life, because Aaron has changed his mind!
I have decided I will not be voting for Donald trump. I’ve seen a lot and to ME. it’s just something I can’t take part in. Too many reasons
— Aaron Carter (@aaroncarter) April 29, 2016
Aaron tweeted the above yesterday and thank God he did. We can all breathe easy knowing that there’s no way Trump can win now he’s lost this incredibly important voice within the presidential race. I want to know what exactly he’s referring to though by saying he’s “seen a lot”. Does this have anything to do with Kirstie Alley? Did she invite him over under the pretense of talking Trump but then at some point he realized it was just John Travolta in drag? That’s probably what happened. Regardless, let’s all take a moment to thank Aaron for swinging the pendulum away from Trump.
The POTUS dreams of Ted Cruz, John Kasich, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders and my personal pick Limberbutt McCubbins were shattered like a meth pipe in a vagina when Aaron Carter declared that his vote is probably going to go to Donald Trump. Aaron said in a tweet and later told GQ that despite all of the “wall” shit, he’s into Trump. But well, there’s been a YUGE development that is beyond great news for the other candidates, but sad and tragic news for the Trump campaign. Chris Christie is licking the greasy tears trickling down his master’s face, because Aaron Carter has declared on Twatter that he’s not voting for Trump anymore, because he’s not voting at all!
On February 27, every presidential candidate not named Donald Trump, threw up their hands and said, “Well, there goes that, we tried,” when the pride of Florida Aaron Carter declared in a tweet that he’s voting for the sunburnt taint goiter. When you win the ex-meth head child star majority, you win the whole bitch! The Hillary Duff stalker and Nick Carter coattail rider talked to GQ about why Donald Trump is the only candidate for him.
The year 2000 and the year 2007 has crashed together in a meth-induced haze and produced 2016’s greatest new IT couple: Aaron Carter and Chris Crocker!
Hilary Duff no longer has to worry about walking into her bathroom and finding her ex-stalker Aaron Carter making out with her toilet seat or spooning with the towel she used that morning while wearing her dirty panties like a face mask, because he has found himself a much hotter and sexier piece. The “LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOONE“ twink turned (that link is very NSFW —–>) power top porn star Chris Crocker posted this precious picture on Instagram of him cuddling up to his new boo Aaron Carter. Chrissy Crocker added this sugar-coated gumdrop to the pic:
Aaron found his candy
This totally genuine and real union probably started blooming right after Chrissy Crocker made a “LEAVE AARON CARTER ALOOOONE” video because the haters came for his man for refusing to do one of the only songs of his people know. Yes, they’re obviously faking this for Instagram likes, but I’m still going to choose to believe that their A-list love is for real and they will soon share it in a reality show that will rival Britney and Kevin: Chaotic. I mean, they already have their first scene for it:
And here’s Aaron showing off his meth abs on Instagram while looking like the kind of dirty hustler who uses plastic bags and rubber bands as condoms and will steal your wallet while he does you next to a dumpster. What I’m trying to say is that Chrissy Crocker is one lucky trick!
When Nick Carter was arrested two weeks ago for being all kinds of drunk at a place called the Hog’s Breath Saloon in Florida and choking out a bouncer because they wouldn’t let him pour any more booze down his throat, even Florida was like “Slow down, Nick Carter – that’s TOO Florida.” Apparently Nick Carter has finally realized that, yeah, he got a little too Florida that day, and now he wants you to know he’s sorry about it. Nick typed up a little apology on Twitter yesterday. Tip: Nick’s tweets are 1000x more entertaining if you pretend they were written by Mummy Nick from the video for “Everybody“.
I am human and at times it can be a struggle to balance a healthy lifestyle. I'm not perfect and for that I am sorry.
— Nick Carter (@nickcarter) January 23, 2016
When we fall we have to get up and keep on walking. I hope you stay by my side and continue to walk with me.
— Nick Carter (@nickcarter) January 23, 2016
Is it just me or does it sound like Nick yanked his apology tweets from a Christian bookstore’s Facebook wall? No, I’m sure he thought them all up himself with no help from either his lawyer or the Backstreet Boys’ PR person. One person who probably didn’t help him write it was his brother Aaron Carter, because he was too busy dealing with his own mess. TMZ says Aaron flipped out on a fan at a concert in Virgina earlier this week after they asked him to sing “I Want Candy“. Apparently Aaron wasn’t into that shit, told the fan “I’m 28, honey, and I’m grown” and walked off stage for a bit. TMZ has the video of Aaron’s “I’m grown” moment, which you can watch here.
Okay, but to be fair to that fan, if Aaron wasn’t going to sing “I Want Candy“, what else did he have planned? Three different versions of “Aaron’s Party” followed by an acoustic performance of “Crazy Little Party Girl“? Somewhere in Hell, a tortured soul is like “Hey, I have that album!”
Scientists looking for concrete proof that delusion is the secret ingredient in meth got what they were searching for in the tweet that pop twink turned Hilary Duff stalker Aaron Carter burped up yesterday. Aaron tweeted (and later deleted), “Remember one very important thing. Michael passed down the torch to me. I never had to ask for him to do that,” and that pretty much made Twitter ring the bell because the games had begun.
When a bunch of people on Twitter threw Aaron the same “uh huh, bitch” look that my friends throw at me when I tell them I’m going on a 5 day booze and weed cleanse, he defended himself and stamped the word “bully” on the hos who laughed at him for saying he’s the Michael Jackson of our time. I read the string of tweets this morning and thought they were going to bring the laughs, but they quickly nose dived straight into a puddle of SADS.
Some of the tweets that Aaron tweeted up are after the cut and in case you didn’t know, his nickname for Michael Jackson is “Dookie.” I mean….
And now you know what Aaron Carter looks like while he’s eating ass. Thank you for that, AC.
Aaron Carter has been saying “fuckit” to having dignity for months by tweeting about how his childhood girlfriend Hilary Duff is his soulmate and he’ll never ever stop trying to win her love back. I almost filed a lawsuit against Aaron at that time, because I developed severe face wrinkles from cringing over him declaring his love for the girl he dated when they were both fetus-aged like he’s a character in the worst Nicholas Sparks book ever. Aaron eventually realized that he needs to stop it with the “Every Step You Take…” shit and vowed to have a seat and keep his lips shout about his undying love for Lizzie McGuire.
That was that until Hilary Duff just had to awaken the stalker beast with blond low lights by talking about him during a recent interview with Cosmo. Hilary, you dumb trick, do not invoke its name! Hilary said this about Aaron slobbering on and on about her on Twatter:
“Him reaching out through social media? It’s ridiculous! But then people do it all the time, like Chris Brown and Karrueche? Come on, guys. Keep it between text messages.”
Since Hilary just had to talk about Aaron, the former Mr. May in the Faces of Meth calendar and former Mr. July in the Bodies of Meth calendar responded to her on Twitter, sort of. Aaron didn’t name names, but let Hilary Duff know that she should keep his name out of her mouth (and then his balls exploded from thinking about him being in Hilary Duff’s chipmunk mouth):
Some shit I just don't get. Stop. Talking. About. It. ….I did.
— Aaron Carter (@aaroncarter) March 5, 2015
Maybe he’s not talking about Hilary. Maybe he’s talking about that dress. Aaron is right, though. Hilary needs to stop obsessing over Aaron obsessing over her. Aaron has really matured and knows that slobbering about her on social media isn’t a good look. Those whores on Twitter don’t understand anyway. So now Aaron only talks about Hilary to the patchwork doll he made out of the panties he stole from her dirty laundry basket while cuddling with it in the room that’s covered with pictures of her. Follow Aaron’s lead, Hilary, and grow the hell up!
Here’s Hilary with her son, doing her daily walk in the front of the paps. I’m sure Aaron has already made a composite of what their baby would look like in one of those morph programs and posted that picture over the face of Hilary’s son.
It appears Aaron Carter still has one working braincell in that peroxide-fried Ed Hardy hedgehog head of his (“Damn! I thought I got them all?” – crystal meth). After trying desperately to woo his ex-girlfriend Hilary Duff back into his life on Twitter since January, Aaron Carter has finally taken the hint that Lizzie McGuire wants nothing to do with him or his busted Faces of Florida ass. The Ghost of Justin Bieber Future told Wenn (via E!) that after much thought (read: after Mike Comrie showed up at his studio in the valley with a couple NHL enforcers), he’s decided to cool it with the AXE-Scented Social Media Romeo shit:
“If I’m too open about how I feel then people wanna nag and pick and poke at me. I don’t know Hilary, either. She don’t know me and I don’t know her. I just need to shut up now about it. I think it’s time. She’s got a kid and she’s married and I’m not trying to be that dude. That’s not my intention. Hilary will always hold a very special place in my heart.”
Poor Aaron; he threw Hilary a love party every day for almost a whole year, but she never wanted to come get it. Na na na na, na na na na.
But just because it didn’t work out with Hilary doesn’t mean Nick Jr. should stop trying to pursue all his old girlfriends. For instance, I’m sure Lindsay Lohan would love to rekindle the spray tan-dipped romance they had so many years ago! It has the makings of a classic Hollywood love story! After more than a decade apart, two former tweener messes reunite after flirting online (“Hey sexy, I bored – wan 2 fuck?“) to rub their rash-covered parts on each other in a dirty hotel room and snort anything they can crush up and fit through a straw. Then they’ll hit a rough patch when Aaron catches the Apricot Ashtray trying to steal $20 from his wallet while he’s taking a shit. So romantic! It’s just like The Notebook!
Thousands of children have been told by their 30-something mothers to go and play in the street or whatever, because mommy needs a little “me time” and by that she means she needs to scream and bawl out the words, “IT SHOULD’VE BEEN MEEEEEEEE,” while doing the endless wall slide of woe. Because the youngest Backstreet Boy Nick Carter got married yesterday in Santa Barbara, CA. I’m not one of those hos crying about this shit, because I was never into the Backstreet Boys and if I was, I’d get the tingles for Kevin Richardson. I wouldn’t turn down a chance to suck off those brows.
Anyway, People says that 34-year-old Nick married fitness expert/actress (nothing is more L.A. than a fitness expert/actress) Lauren Kitt in front of 100 guests, including 2 of the Backstreet Boys, at the Bacarat Resort. Nothing says “wedded bliss” like a groom making a “the fuck did I just do?” face while his bride smiles at the camera. Nick and Lauren bumped fuck parts full-time for a while before they got engaged last year. Because Nick would rather Vh1 pay for his fancy wedding to a chick he might only be married to for a quick second, the whole thing was shot for a reality show, which will start airing sometime this year.
Sadly, the best Carter, Aaron Carter, wasn’t at his brother’s wedding. Aaron cannot turn down a check, so he performed at the Cherry Blossom parade in DC and he didn’t make it back to California in time because the plane had mechanical problems. Damn you, Spirit Airlines! Aaron’s rep (yes, he has on those) said this:
“Aaron signed a contract to appear at the Cherry Blossom parade in D.C. before Nick’s wedding date was announced. [We] realized there was a problem and figured out he could perform and get him to Santa Barbara so he would be there for the last two hours of the reception. Tickets were purchased and the plan was in place. It was a major operation to get him there in time. Aaron didn’t blow anything off and would have been there – it’s a real bummer for him. He feels bad he missed the wedding.”
Nick Carter is an asshole for not canceling his wedding. How can he get married without his former partner in meth, his brother, next to him? How can he dance with his new wife without his brother next to them dancing with a Hilary Duff cardboard cutout? I bet the Hilary Duff cardboard cutout was finally going to put out last night too. Poor Aaron.
Meth might’ve eaten Aaron Carter’s face and any dignity he had in his being, but it didn’t eat the undying love he feels for Hilary Duff. Hilary and Aaron “dated” when they were just 13 years old and that was over 14 years ago, but every night he blasts “Come Clean,” crawls into his Lizzie McGuire sleeping bag and as he stares at the photo collage of her he pasted onto his ceiling, he faps while crying. My thoughts and prayers go out to Aaron Carter’s neighbors who every night have to block out the sound of him fap-crying while screaming out the lyrics to “Come Clean.”
Aaron has let it be known on Twitter before that he wants Hilary Duff back. And yesterday, the Romeo of Florida once again figuratively threw tiny rocks at Hilary Duff’s bedroom window when he re-tweeted a picture of her and then spilled out this declaration of love, which will later be used in court when Hilary Duff tries to get a restraining order against his ass.
Don’t be that stupid douche that loses the love of your life forever..
I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to better myself to get back to her.
I don’t care what ANY of you think.
That tweet just gave me an anxiety attack
..people who have no idea who I am and/or what I’ve been through.
If you’re that interested watch my interviews or google me.
At least I’m real and don’t hide behind the persona of being a celebrity and an entertainer, &try to portray positive feelings all the time
On a lighter note it’s almost Easter and I want tons of candy to eat!!
Lindsay Lohan probably DMed Aaron with, “Aw, I never stopped loving you either, got any coke?” But Aaron told one of his followers that he was talking about his childhood girlfriend Hilary Duff.
If you think it’s creepy that Aaron is still slobbering over a girl he dated when he was 13, then you’re obviously the kind of monster who shits on true love and stabs cherubs for fun. Because true love will always prevail! 50 years from now, Aaron will be laughing at all the haters who thought he was a creepy motherfucker while cuddling on the couch with his wife of 49 years Hilary Duff as they watch their grandchildren play on the rug. You know, I think I just described the scene that Aaron is going to daydream about in his jail cell after the cops catch him licking Hilary Duff’s dirty panties in her bedroom.
And welcome to your future, Justin and Selena.